Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

Friday, July 30, 2004

god spoke. i was laying in bed late last night, with a really bad headache. and i decided to ask god to help me with certain issues in life. i was listening to a cd my sister bought. forgot the cd name but the song was "amazing love". and then, i saw this "our daily journey" book. i got up, and said "god, if u wanna speak to me, k la, i flip the book and u talk to me." he did. july 23rd>> "whatever u do" okie, so what did i do? "whatever u do, whether in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus." un huh, good lord, u are darn powerful."live your life the way jesus would live it if He were in your place." >> "make your mark - leave jesus name on all you do." oh good lord, no need to nail me so hard right?? i know, i've not been obeying u through a lot of things... but, oh well i guess if u nvr nail me right on the head, i won't have learnt. then i flipped. july 29>> "love doesn't come easy"oh yea man good lord, love doesn't come easy. it's tough business man, so what do u have to say abt it?? "picture it. a man and a woman fall in love, they decide to get married, & suddenly they & their ofsprings are staring across the dinner table at eachother." uh huh..."what matters most in a family - .... are the acts of love, not the feelings of love." good lord, u no need like tt one right??? hiakz... yesh yesh, love is not a feeling thing... bu u still haven't quite tell me how ma... and it ended with the way you love will help or hurt relationships.shooot me, quick some one shoot me... i know this far too well... quick quick!!! it's like, god's trying to tell me something. but i don't know what. maybe coz, i know i'm shutting off the important part. then today what ju xing shared during Jcell. abt obedience. i'm like yes man, shooooot me quick. wah... i cannot take the stress... from experience, the way i've loved has indeed hurt and strengthen relationships. its like kamikaze u know... though most are still picking up.. coz i'm 19, must clear problems and not bear grudges. coz i wanna be FREE!!!!! free to dance in HIS name, free to rejoice and proclaim his greatness. james was sharing today abt how, obedience can lead to revival of ownself, family and even church. and i was thinking. god is this such a time like this?? tt obedience has to play a part? james was also sharing abt how, we should obey our parents till marriage, coz parents are there for a reason. and i know, in particular my mummy's concern for all my friendship problems. and she has been advocating tt i need to get married. and the criterias and blah blah blah. sometimes, i seriously feel staying single is a good thing... at least she won't nag at me. the final tot is tt i know, something within me is abt to burst out. something inside of me wanna feel FREE... wanna be uncaged. is it the calling of god? are there things i need to settle? are there issues in which i need to obey god? god ah... can u just tell me straight out loud what u want me to do??? i've a slight hint but could u just blow it all at me. like crash a cymbal or something? like joshua, i need to find faith in God. like joshua, i need to believe and trust God. there are greater things god wants me to achieve i know. letting go is tt the issue god is trying to deal with me now? is it the time to learn the lesson of letting go of everything? all my security blanket? testing of faith? god, could u tell me straight in the face, whats the lesson u want me to learn this time round? amazing love, how can it be? tt u my king would die for me? how amazing is your love oh father. i know u love me a lot a whole darn lot. and i really wanna honour u with my life and whatever thing i do. are u using my mummy to tell me things i should know? or is it a test of faith? the lines are bluring a bit for tt... good lord in heaven, hear my prayers. i really do wanna honour u in all i do. forgive me for whatever wrong i've done. good lord, teach me how, how to really practice trusting in u. how to stand firm in you. teach me how to love the way u want me to love. teach me how to release to be FREE! teach me what you'll do in situations, so i may follow and know its right. i love u lord, and i know u love me lots too...

And here the story ends.
11:24 AM