Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

hmmz... my cousin came to stay over on saturday. created a little havoc, and noise. but i think it was an interesting experience. some how, i find that, i've just gained a little brother. i'm kinda troubled though. my dad was telling me that i should just treat this as a case study, since i want to study psychology. he also told me that i must learn the lesson of not putting too much emotions into this case study or work in future. but, my heart hurts indefinitely. and i almost cried after hearing about all these rubbish. why do adults act so stupid sometimes? (not my dad. its my uncle) he lost his job again today. somehow, even as a 19 year old girl i think i've more sense then my uncle who's 39. he seriously is irresponsible and above all lazy. the problem? he has a family. 2 kids, 1 is 5 years old the other is 3 years old. so? he jumps from job to job, refuses to chip in for the children's education, i believe he abuses his wife (my aunt) and who knows, even the children. he smokes too much, who knows he gambles his money away too. i just can't stand to know that such a person is my uncle! i'm sorry if i really sound mad and stuff but i really am so utterly ashamed. i guess, over time, i kinda developed a big sister figure for my cousins, especially the boy. and i just can't tolerate the thought that something like this happening to the family. its so clear cut to who's in the wrong and who's right. my aunt (who's not my direct blood relative) is hardworking, has low expectations in terms of family life, just requires basic family needs to be met thats all. she's violent but still reasonable. and i don't blame her for her violent instincts becoz, if i ever married some one as lazy and irresponsible as my uncle (i'm so ashamed to say he's my direct blood relative), i think i would be worst and i won't even be able to tolerate his nonsensical ways for more then 1 year. seriously, which guy will not chip in to the child's educational fees? the utilities bill? the house payment? the family income? even a bit? my uncle. i'm so annoyed! and he doesn't even CARE! he just quit his job today, becoz he finds that he works too long hours, too little pay. everyone hopes on him has died. even my mother just told my aunt, if he has quit the job. let him be. let him starve to death. dont' let him stay at your house. if he has to sleep on the streets let him sleep on the streets. it is not worth the effort to look at him everyday. no point. my words came true. the day they got married i told my sister this... i can't believe our uncle is married. for his wasteful ways, he actually got hitched? and 5 years down the road, yuppz, it's been proven. u can never change a man after marriage. he just gets worst. my only sadness is that now my boy cousin has to be "fostered" by all of us. coz, there is simply no way that my aunt can carry the burden of taking care of 2 kids. for a month, he had to be taken care by my aunts, my granny and even my family. and i think that unless my uncle wakes up realising that he has wasted himself away and dragged his entire family, this outcome is gonna be permenant. it has been said that he would be taken care by one of my other aunt (who has 2 other kids). and the finance of bringing up this boy would be carried by all of the relatives (accounting that all of the families have kids who are schooling and even my dad who is earning to pay for 2 uni education, my sister and i) its gonna be tough definitely. gone are the days that i can go out and play on a weekend. i think now, i would also have to chip in into taking care of him on saturdays. which i don't mind coz i do love my cousin. as they say when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. the talk about the 3 S's did come true. separate, split, sell. the parents are gonna separate. the kids will be split. but about the selling of the house, maybe not. my heart aches. but reality is reality. maybe such things would make a person more mature? who knows. but i just feel as though, i've gained a brother. oh god just see us through all of these...

And here the story ends.
12:50 AM