Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

Sunday, November 13, 2005

today, marks my first time serving in lol as drummer... amazingly, by the grace of god, it went, pretty okay... though, there were hiccups here and there. u know, many people say, wah, first time serve not bad.. but actually... i did serve before in drums, but it totally screwed up.. mainly because, i had no confidence, and i knew too little to even play one song right.. minus the band pieces of mulan and abba gold of coz... tt one got train so not a problem... i think what i truly lack is creativity and confidence... and many many practices... i was kidding with my mum today, tt i feel i'm better in drums then piano.. i mean, okay... i'm still an amateur in drums, and tt my skills at piano far surpasses my skills in drums. but one think i notice is, i've struggled with piano all my life to play to right key, at the right time. and i do not have a gift of hearing and playing it out immediately.. but when it comes to drums, its like once i know the beat, i know the beat end of story... and a lot about feeling the rhythm i think it's something that either you have or you have to train a lot... oh well... but i love both of the instruments.. no competition there... and i must admit, i still need to improve on my skills and knowledge.. i think if mr. seah heng loong john didn't teach me, or at least impart some knowledge, i wont' be able to play for nuts today either... i need guidance. maybe tts whats wrong with my piano... i've no one to look to for improvement!!!! since day one, i throw u one times piano and a score book... without chords.. play for me the song... i mean, i'm like... wah..... i'm not tt gifted alright.... so it was hard practice... but i think i still suck at jazz playing of drums.. tt one super high level... really truly madly deeply, might have something to do with my millitary drums training.. i can play beats that are on beats very well... but off beat must practice super hard... anyway... i really HAVE to thank god... it was an obstacle to sit there and play, coz of prior failure before... before i played, i told god this... ha ha.. so tt u know he wont' blame me if i play wrongly.. i said, god be it good or bad, it's all for you... and, when the music played and everything, just this feeling in my heart, let the spirit flow.. just let it out.. and then it just did.. i guess, it's not me, but tt father was in the house today... seriously really truly... i've NEVER ever worshipped while playing drums before.. but today was like woah... could feel HIS presence all around the room... it was like the spirit took my hands, and played while i'm in the sweet aura of god's presence.. honestly, if u ask me.. i cant' really recall what i played for the slow song.. coz, i was singing most of the time.. and yes, closing my eyes while beating the drums... HE was so real... so very real.. and the sermon today was so powerful.. until i can suck thumb and be a little kid again... i've been worried over my next year's study.. so much tt i've forgotten what it is like to have faith in him. if i say i've faith in him, then why should i cut down on serving times??? or, why do i want to pull out from the activities?? if i have faith in him, i shoudl change my lifestyle for him, and he will provide for me... do i believe in tt??? or have i forgotten i once believed in tt... hee ee.. anyway.. i ought to go back to do my paper... =)

And here the story ends.
7:01 AM