Tuesday, March 30, 2004

it's raining yet again.... though not as heavy as the last time...

it's tuesday already... so fast so fast... 1st april is coming up, and soon may will pass by, and the june and then school!! manz... sighz... went for driving today, i seriously think my instructor is so stingy with chops.... refuse to chop my book today... sighz...

i hope it doesn't rain tmr if not i'll be very sad.. found a nice spot in wcp, where i get to see sampan and hear the waves crash onto the shore and with shade... oh i saw kingfishes today!! a pair to be exact such brilliant blue.. so stunning... :) then when u close your eyes, u feel so close to the shore, so nice... if it rains tmr i'll be super coz tt'll mean i dont' get to see boats and sampans and feel the waves... and i can't believe how awfully peaceful the park is at noon time, like everyone dreads going there like tt... maybe its becoz its school days bah... no kite flying, no cyclists, no nothing... only construction workers and a handful of couples (actually 3 to be exact)...

yawns... i think i shall go sleep soon.. i'm quite tired... and my throat is still no better, now i talk with this super hoarse voice... manz... must be becoz i woke up at 8 today... straining sia... super straining... *thinks.. maybe i shall wake up even earlier tmr see how the shores are like in the morning *thinks harder... neh... unearthly... maybe another time...

i'm so super broke for the entire week!!! if i clear my debts with shan this week i no need eat liao... can also walk home from where ever i am... *shakes head... broke broke... but nvr mind... sunday is coming soon!! and then i can start eating again..haha...

And here the story ends.
12:24 AM

Monday, March 29, 2004

i had to release it, if not it was gonna explode... and i did...

i ran and ran and ran... all the pains and aches in my body stripped away, and as i sprint, i felt this heavy bondage around me it was like my skin grew tighter and tighter... it felt so good man... after so long i finally ran... haha.. some more run for 30 min... not too long, but long enough for me to sweat like mad... and i did gym for another 30 min... man it felt real good...

no wonder some pple love to run, say running releases them... wah, it felt so peaceful away from my phone, away form the computer and it was just the ground and me.. though i do think i broke my toe nail in the process.. violent violent...

huo bei shang wei li liang... tts what i'm gonna do... whenever i feel sad now, i shall practise my pieces (my teacher complained tt i cannot make it..) and worst come to worst i go run (need to trim down on my fat mass too)

i feel good.. physically... so refreshing... though i think my sister tot i was mad... haha... her lazy sister decided to go running?? haha...

And here the story ends.
1:33 AM

Sunday, March 28, 2004

lesson of the day: "letting go"

now i understand why pple say letting go is hard. it really is. if i can't let go what is hurting me the most now, i guess, the hurts will always be there bah... but if i let go, i guess in future god will heal the pain bah...

letting go of a friend whom u cherish a lot isn't easy.. have learnt that since young as a child. even till death. letting go of a person who's alive of dead ain't easy... maybe its becoz after i realised the pains of letting go of a person who has left this world, i more i cling onto friends around me whom i'm closed to and refuse to let go...

and the topic of the day is to let go... let go of something tt i need to. ain't easy though... and am sure gonna shed a lot of tears abt it.. well, nvr easy...

and i think i fell ill yet again... i don't know le.. but i think formt he last time when my fever began i nvr really healed... strange... maybe becoz i'm tired liao bah...

And here the story ends.
9:51 AM

Saturday, March 27, 2004

raindrops keep falling on my head... la la la...

oh it's saturday again... yet another week passes by... i can still hear the waves crashing onto the shore, the father and child acorss the waters fishing to their delight... the boats and yatch bobbing up and down with each passing wave... the sampans neatly parked near the shore...

then there was this rock tt said "why do good things dun last? haiz..." dated 25/10 and many more tt were unheard sorrows of broken heartedness.. guess this is part of the place in singapore where pple find solitude in bah... then behind me was this stunt biker who was practising his stunts... what a lovely place at a lovely time... then far away there was this coconut tree at the top of the little hill... shall go there one day...

there was this old man taking his afternoon nap under one of the shelter next to him his bike. it was picture perfect. however, i had no camera to snap it... it just lingered in my mind to savour... then there was this man who walked outta the jungles, running... and then tiny droplets fell, and a purple shade i sought...

at the corner of my eye i saw the cleaners sweeping the ground... and then there was the roads, all puddles of water... drops tt went splish splash... then i waited at the crossing, fearing tt a passing car will splash water on me... then my jeans became wet and so my shoes were soaked...

i walked in, having to hear thunderous pour of rain... i climbed up the stairs and into the dark, only to realise i was trembling coz i am afraid of the dark i can't see in the dark... i grab hold of the railing and went up up up...

saw shoes lotsa them... left what i ought... and climbed down again.. into the darkness and out in the open...

the drops grew bigger and colder... saw how vivid they were creating ripples on what seemed nvr ending streams of water... one after another till my eyes grew blur... the drains were now filled halfway with water... and the sound of the water gushing through...

i walked the path tt was dry now wet... with big puddles of water... by now, my shoe felt heavier then before... my toes lost feeling, my socks soaked... i cuddled my arms near my body, praying hard i dont' fall ill... at the crossing, i saw how oil gave a beautiful shade to the panel of water on the road... how the red man reflected perfectly on what looks like a mirror now... then it turned green...

my purple shade wasn't too perfect either... it leaked...

oh raindrops keep falling on my head...

And here the story ends.
7:47 AM

Friday, March 26, 2004

i think there is seriously somethign wrong with me..

i lost my appetite a week ago... cannot seem to eat solid food... only can take in liquid food without having the feeling of nausea and wanting to puke... then i cannot sleep properly... take a little while to fall into deep sleep and always feeling tired... are these signz of unhealthy lifestyle??? then whenever anyone asks me qns or what, i just kinda seem too relaxed, my brains cannot turn as fast as before... sheesh...

what is wrong?? just what is wrong with me??

And here the story ends.
12:23 AM

Thursday, March 25, 2004

i'm soaked... literally... my shoes are gone, my umbrella leaks (believe u me), my bag is wet... i knew tt it would rain but i didn't realise it would POUR...

spent some time at WCP today, listening to the waves crashing onto the shore, watching this guy attempting to train his 3 dogs to play catch... and my my my, his dogs are so active... when i arrived at the place, there was this dog running towards me if it weren't for the railings, i would have screamed and run... thankfully the dog listened to his owners command and went back to him *phew... and u know how much i'm afraid of dogs.. i panicked...

and oh the rain fell... before the rain fell, i kinda prayed asked god what to study... sheesh.. i'm not very sure yet... but when i read the first article on the new paper today my heart stopped... abt the woman who fell down with her 2 daughters... she couldn't take the pain... she needed counselling... but she didn't...

after much deliberation, i'm gonna put psychology as first choice... i looked at maths... i mean seriously if i was made to do papers etc can.. but i guess i do not have as much passion to really look at a formula and go "this is so beautiful" i mean maths can study but to say maths is beautiful?? *pengz... so i guess yuppz psychology is my choice... but which part of psychology i may change again in time to come...

oh man i'm soaked wet.. guess i need a bath...

And here the story ends.
10:59 PM

taisetsu ni shiteta mono wa, itsumo kobore ochite yuku, demo kimi to no omoide dake wa, kono mune no oku ni tsuyoku aru... suzushiku natte ita umi, hashaideta futari no kake... kimi no sukoshi yakesugita hadato, shizunde iku yunhi ni toketa... konote wo zutto, hanasanai mama, otona ni natte iketara iinoni... hizashi no nakade, oikaketa, kimi no sugata sagashite... koiga owaru yokan shite, yorisou dayo ne...

And here the story ends.
7:40 AM

dreaded mosqitoe... now my entire face is covered with love bites... what is this... wah... *cries... everywhere!! including my eye lids!! so itchy... bleh... tt dreaded mosqi better not be around tonight if not i'll be very mean, more like i'll be super annoyed... and i'll camp in my sister's room instead...

spend 1/2 my sleeping time yesterday waking up trying to catch the stupid mosqi... ended up sleeping less then 3 hours.. was so paranoid this morning... esp to wake up seeing all the bites and feeling the itch... horror...

ehz... it turned black.. no more white... ehz... sospirando...

darn i shall attempt to room clean once more.. i think it's filthy inside my room.. very filthy...

And here the story ends.
2:50 AM

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

2 hours down. sleeping time yet again. oh man. my head hurts. signs of unhealthy lifestyle. life. ehz. i hope tmr there'll be rain its getting awfully hot in singapore, and i wanna try driving in heavy downpour.

talking abt driving. i am in the habit of speeding. darn. to drive at 50 km/h is seriously turtle speed. argh.

oh overwhelmed. and tired. man.

And here the story ends.
9:10 AM

2 hours down. sleeping time yet again. oh man. my head hurts. signs of unhealthy lifestyle. life. ehz. i hope tmr there'll be rain its getting awfully hot in singapore, and i wanna try driving in heavy downpour.

talking abt driving. i am in the habit of speeding. darn. to drive at 50 km/h is seriously turtle speed. argh.

oh overwhelmed. and tired. man.

And here the story ends.
9:10 AM

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

ending song today. abstracts of
Let Me Let Go faith hill

let me let go, oh baby
let me let go
if this is for the best why are u still in my heart
oh u still in my soul
let me let go

i talked to you the other day
looks like you've made your escape
you put us behind, no matter how hard i try
i can't do the same

let me let go, baby
let me let go
it just isn't right, i've been 2 thousand miles
down a dead-end road, let me let go

ehz faith hill songs has the tune the beat... ehz... and to think abt it i bought the cd on impulse... it was a good choice 3 years down the road

And here the story ends.
8:34 AM

ehz.... i passed ftt... how amazing... judging tt i wasn't in the mood to do the paper, i was sick... haha...

anyway... yea life has resumed a normal pace... now tt most of my mornings are taken up by driving.. and outta 7 days, i spend almost 3 days in church... left 4 more days which are taken up by driving... ehz... stagnent life...

geesh... this entire week my lessons will be taught by different instructors... apparently mr. lu is on leave... sheesh... and i'm at the end of stage one... and i can't drive properly still... hmmz... bummer... and all the instructors tell me diff things one... today i drove so recklessly... come on i was speeding... and i didn't realise it... and ah haha i couldn't differentiate between telling stories and giving instructions from my instructor today... so i had to make many last minute changes when i driving at 70.... but well... next time also must drive more then tt one... says the instructor today... so he happily let me drive 80 - 90 km today... wahahaha.. :)

And here the story ends.
4:20 AM

Monday, March 22, 2004

i needa slim down... and a lot... my mummy was commenting how much i've grown over the years... saying when i was the slimmest when i was in NY... of coz la.. then i was a percussionist who needed to work out 3 times a week playing drums, and moving the heavy instruments...

oh talking abt drums... my drum skill sucks now... seriously.. i have completely disgraced my seniors who have taught me thus far... i can't even give a proper roll!!! and rolling is so important to a percussionist.. so i'm having extra practices to regain my original percussionist strength...

back to slimming down.. i needa inculcate this thing abt running... i MUST attempt to wake up early to run.. but i don't know why these few days i just grow tired by the day...

anyway... i went shopping today... though its window shopping good enough.. i wanted to try on this skirt which i was contemplating to buy when my sister comes with me... then this salesgirl just took it off the rack right before i went to try... what bad attitude... and it was the only one left hanging... bah...

hmmz.. i think i ate something really wrong... i dont' know what it is.. but i've been having stomache for the past few days... goodness...

went to sit the cable car today.. so fun!!! haven't tried the experience for like quite a long time already.. though it was one round it was still so exciting!!! :)

And here the story ends.
7:09 AM

Sunday, March 21, 2004

after much thoughts... its down to 2 courses...

maths (applied maths or statistics) or psychology... what ish troubling me ish both ish something i like... but the thing is what on earth are the work prospects man...

u know hor... maths... do liao... most pple go do teaching... i mean ME teach??? err no way... no way... besides tt seriously dont' know do what liao...

then hor, abt psychology... heard tt employment rate quite high to different stuff too.. like IMH, government, heard tt doing HR also very good... hmmz... but if psychology.. it means i need to do my masters over sea... 1 year ish good enough to kill liao... coz if u wanna be a respectable psychologist.. must do until higher degree mah.. then wanna do like specialised field like children therapy etc must do overseas...

yuppz.. time ish still ticking.. and i'm gonna have to make up my mind very soon... very very soon...

And here the story ends.
6:52 AM

Friday, March 19, 2004

cool stuff... currently... my choices are differing again...

i've got on hand.. psychology, maths, statistics and industrial design... though i've yet to know what on earth is industrial design... bummer... but some how, after reading the portfolio for the maths and statistics part it seems quite appealing... coz there's not much mechanics going on... but imagine living with formulas till i die.. quite amusing... haha...

kk if i were to study psychology - its to become a clinical therapist for children and teenager...

maths - hopefully can go into the financial sector ( though i think its quite stressful ) ehz...

time is ticking away... man... i've left only like less then 1 week to decide... at least now i know generally what i wish for... the chances of me choosing industrial design is quite low... its yuppz... either maths or psychology... 2 big big battles.. haha...

time to find out more...

anyway.. argh NASTA fair is now on!!! and DBS card holders got offer.... i think i shall make a date with my sister tmr... i needa go look out for offerds on trip to canada... though some how, i think the possibility of me going to canada quite low.. air fares are just too expensive man... so expensive... and to go alone??? *GASP!!! horror... but if i really had the chance i think i should grab it.. coz i doubt i'll ever have time to go there at length...

And here the story ends.
11:45 PM

ehz... this is my life currently...

my mum keeps nagging at me for having not chosen my course... and every now and then keep tellingme to give my tutor a call for advice...but seriously... i call also pointless coz my mind is a whirl... but i think i've gotta call in a whilst time.. if not she'll start nagging at me again...

my entire family keeps having discussions on what course i'm to take... and seemingly the biggest argument there is is about industrial design.. my mum likes it, my sister is against it, my dad? he's cool as long as i like it...

then comes psychology... ehz... everyone seems to be okay with it... the problem?? ehz... heard tt it ain't a good course becoz there's only one career path there's to it.. working in IMH... ehz.. shrugs...

then next applied maths... no one commented much abt it... seriously... hmmz.. its just me for this course coz i'm not sure if i can actually cope with the course imagine looking at formulas for the rest of my life??? matrixes?? oh man.. at leats now i'll be fully focused onto studying that stupid matrixes... and lotsa them... and not much mechanics... if ever am to study mechanics i'll whack the book and burn it alive....

what else... there's an option of business... seriously it seems to have the widest career choices... but... it'll be hard work... deifinitely.. and i do not have a business mind...

so thus what am i doing today?? from my mere 2 hours at home??? i'm gonna check out every single course there is in singapore... i wonder.. why didn't i actually have the option of applying for oversea uni??? i could do something more outta the blue.. like yah la marine biology research.. since i love fish so much...

i think i kinda have a sulky tone... but i'm not alone... a lot of pple travelled on the same route too... and yesh... lotsa my frens who dont' know what to take end up in either business or engineering.. its surprising to meet lotsa frens at bbdc... quite funny...

i shall make a thourough search online now... yesh i shall...

i shall blog again with the results of the search...

yesh i've gone mad...

And here the story ends.
10:38 PM

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

today.. had to wrap tissue paper... hahaha... no kidd!! serious i did it under 1 hour... man it was tough.. haha hmmmz... well well... anyway.. the photos of the lomo ish out!! it looks quite interesting... there were a few shots tt were seriously very pretty some taken by the super sampler... and ooh i love the one with the boat... it turned out quite nice.. and what else... err... there was this one taken of me in an mrt station tt one seriously i'm going to blow it bigger and put in my room.. the lightings, colour, superb...

hmmz..lemme think... ehz... quite tired ah.... hmmz.. now must spend 1 hour with my piano everyday.. but ooh i love 2 songs tt i'm playing... so nice... so dancy... so lovely...

i'm just really enjoying life now.. ooh man i pray hard i can wake up tmr to run.. i needa slim down i think i gained weight yet again... this ish bad... really bad... man....

kk gotta go watch charmed liao... :)

And here the story ends.
7:59 AM

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

i always wonder how come my mum can't give my frens a bit more respect. i dont' remember her not giving respect to my sister's frens... geesh...

anyway... nvr mind abt tt... i'll just goby my way first till i get to the age of 25 let's see if she still gives no respect to my frens...

anyway.. i'm still thinking abt my course... seriously... psychology?? industrial design?? applied maths?? shucks.. not much time left... i shall do somet serious thinking and pray abt it...

i bought a bag today!! with my pocket money for this week.. and used up last week's pocket money developing photos... at the rate i'm taking pictures i no need eat already... sheesh.. if my parents dont' increase my pocket money by the time i start studying.. i think i'll needa work liao.. i'm quite serious abt tt... if not i'll end up walking to school everyday (which isn't tt bad unless it rains) and i'll just end up bringing fruit from school as food (which isn't tt bad.. since i need to slim down)... ehz... but still needa pay like daily expenses.. like pens etc (whcih isn't tt bad... coz i've tons of pens at home from years before) *thinks... actually it ain't tt bad... manz.... just living like those days when i was in primary school .. hahahahha... ehz.. walk to school lor... ehz.... unless its at NTU... *gasp... end of story....

hmmz... one week 50 bucks... 20 bucks on transport.. left 30 bucks.. which more or less expires becoz i've to pay 2 bucks per week for retreat, lemme think... i've gotta pay tidings. ehz.. hmmz.. thank goodness last time i did save money in tt piggy bank... if not now i'm in deep shit.. i shall attempt to cut down on expenses for food.. if not no enough liao... and my dad refuses to give me a raise...

i shall go eat dinner liao...

And here the story ends.
3:32 AM

Monday, March 15, 2004

heh heh.... ehz... lemme think... today nothing much happened... feel quite free & at ease without music theory... ha ha... but then the hard part ish i needa concentrate on practising my piano liao... but u know what!! i love the 3rd song the last final song.... it's a spanish dance... so NICE!!! heh heh...

anyways... hmmz.. have been looking through for templates to use... but none to my liking still.. guess i'll still stick to this limited space thing.. haha... wanted to add a prayer column though.. :)

i think i shall go wake my sister up... she has been sleeping for more then 5 hours...

And here the story ends.
5:17 AM

Sunday, March 14, 2004

i forsee a great big spiritual attack is gonna come and a spiritual war is gonna arrive soon... ehz.. rather i think it has started...

dear today saw a vision in the bathroom... abt a some death guy (dont' know how to spell)... the alarming thing is.. i had a similiar "thought-flash" whilst bathing too... i saw a red horned devil, in a black cape with a sickle. i thought it was part of a process of renouncing the past (tell more abt it tmr)... tt it was just a wild thought... but turns out to be something more oppressing..

prayer request pls pls pls in your prayer time with god, pls pray for me too k?? for spiritual coverage by god... tt his blood will cleanse me and cover me and protect me from harm. i dont' know what gates had been unleashed during my stay in the toilet at Elements. but it doesn't seem good... pls remember me in your prayers and tt god will fight the battle for me(actually he has already fought the battle for me and won), and give me strength and courage and not lose faith in him. thanks.. :)

And here the story ends.
9:41 AM

i think i'm gonna do something abt the lay out, to include a prayer corner... haha... :) and interesting findings corner... but tt'll mean i need to change the template for good.. this template is too tiny.. :)

hmmz.. today, my cousin came to church today!! so happy... u know, it's like... some how, he was SOOO excited to come church.. and it amazes me.. and it just proves to show prayers work... and it's weird... coz i enjoy bringing my cousin to sunday school... it gets quite tiring to serve so very often... hmmz... haha.. honestly, i find it a joy to bring my cousin to sunday school.. :)

i went to church today, feeling super carefree... no need to rush... actually i had a meeting, but i didn't make it... my friends stayed over at my house yesterday...

hmmz i shall continue blogging tmr.. somethign cropped up.. :)

And here the story ends.
8:37 AM

Saturday, March 13, 2004

*yawn.... sleepy... what a big big bummer.. struggling to stay awake currently... i think i shall sleep soon...

theory exam today was really hard... seriously... question 4 sucks big time... and question 2 & 3 was terrifying!!! but thank goodness no termology came out!!! WOW... i nvr study for tt... hahaha... my augmented chords and chord interval still not very good though... i wonder can i pass a not... bummer...

kk.. i shall finish blogging now.. tata~!

And here the story ends.
9:13 AM

Friday, March 12, 2004

I WROTE A SONG!!!

yea... i think i must be too stressed... in view of the song creation stinct in church, i just sat down in front of my piano.. feeling the notes & music... and wah la... i finished writing my first official song!!! yea.... though i've no idea what the song title is... :) so let's call it my father's house for the mmt...



my father's house

Verse:
my father's house, where peace reigns
you give me love, more than i could contain
the joy you bring, my heart yearns to behold
your my laughter, my everything
my comforter, my source of strength
you're heard my prayers, and dried my every tear
redeemer, lover, my friend when i'm in need
conqueror, saviour, you heard my every cry...

pre-chorus:
jesus, jesus, jesus.. we adore you..
jesus, jesus, jesus.. we adore you..

chorus:
we worship you, king almighty
we sing your praises, till the end of day
we worship you, king almighty
we sing your praises, till the end of day

Bridge:
hallejuah, hallejuah
hallejuah, hallejuah

End:
Amen

And here the story ends.
12:07 AM

Thursday, March 11, 2004

verse of the day...

Genesis 50:20 = You intended to harm me, but GOd intended it for good and accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

what did i learn from it?? many a times, when something bad happened, we always blame it on God... personally, when i saw my scores i was like right sheesh.. what kinda shitty scores are those??? but then.... when i read this verse, i realise tt as men, we sometimes view pitfalls as bad Bad BaD BAD but many a times, we do not see the bigger picture... tt through the pitfalls, he had in plan something even better for us...

take for example the basis of this verse... Joseph was sold by his brothers for 20 pieces of silver to be enslaved.... becoz Joseph told them tt one day his brothers will bow before him and tt he dreamt tt the sun & moon bowed before him... so he was sold and ended up slave to eygpt. the funny thing at the end?? he DID become a leader in eygpt and was like 2nd ranking in power after Pharoh... imagine tt... some more he is a Jew, eygptians detest Jew and worst he was a shepard something which all eygptians detest... and in return, at the end of the day he did save his family's lives in a way or another...

so u see, i realise tt even though my grades to me were terrible, in God's eyes, he has a bigger plan for me... if i had a better result, i won't even think abt studying stuff in arts & social science though i had interest in psychology.. i would most probably choose something regards to science yet again... hmmz.. interesting??? :)

the funny thing is a lot of pple told me they felt tt psychology suit me... something which amuses me.. becoz they all said unamimously... my family, (which i'm so surprise with coz they always tot me to be science person & starting out, my mummy said nono no psychology and now she said i felt tt god say tt psychology is good for u... errr...) anyway.. and Kevin said he foresee me as a psychologist, who else.. my church frens were like hmmz... not bad not bad... aiyah the whole big deal is tt simply its like psychology may be the choice... i shall go think abt it some more.. he hee...

And here the story ends.
10:52 PM

ah.... my mummy say i can do psychology if i want.. she said she felt tt god say tt the course i can do... i'm like.. errr.....

so the big 2 course... tt i'm truly considering.. first, psychology which will involve lotsa reading.. second, maths department general degree or accountancy.. but it'll mean more matrixes which is a whole mindful or mechanics boy do i hate tt chapter to the core...

u know to think abt it, it's quite a blessing to get A C C.. coz if i got like A B B (which is impossible judging by how i attempted to get back on track after i did terribly for prelims)... i think my parents would make me take some science course which is what i wish not to take... through the exams, i found out tt i'm not really cut out to do science, it's just tt i like maths tt's all.. other then tt, i hated chem to the core since i took it when i was sec 3 ( and it's strange, coz my daddy told me he didn't have the brains for chem too..) then physics, err.. i quite liked it still, but i know i don't have the ability to fight with other pple in studying tt simply my mind refuses to click in the way physics-minded pple do...

i'm still trying to figure out the right course tt suits my attributes and natural giftings... i found out over the years, by the grace of god, i'm an encourager, and can observe how pple deal things, there's another thing too... which i dont' know if most pple are like tt.. i can identify when some one is not happy sad and sometimes, i know what is it abt... but i guess usually pple are like tt...

ehz.. psychology?? hmmz.. very interesting... i shall find out more abt the course first... have apporximately 2 more weeks left...



37.36 degrees!!

And here the story ends.
10:51 PM

yea... fever ain't tt bad already!!! taking my temp now.. hee hee.. after having slept for like half hour today and taken my medicine.. :).. and i'm feeling cool from bathing.. actually my temp not much diff.. 37.56??? man...

i just realise how come i fell ill... monday i went with my sister to see some videographer... then i was so thirsty in the car, i took my sister's drinking bottle and drank a mouthful of water... and she was quite ill tt day... and then... tt day was raining like cats & dogs... *thinks.. but i nvr got drenched in the rain what... *thinks harder... a bit drip here and there... oh yah have a bit.. then ewah la.. next day fell ill.. what is this... poisonous water... hee he

FTT today was interesting.. no mood to do.. was feeling gorgy from panadol... so i quickly finish it... err hopefully can pass... didn't think too much of it...

ARGH!!! 2 more days to theory exam!!! PANICK!!! tmr.. i'm gonna study like mad kid... got so much more... like meaning of terms... (which would be last priority hee hee...) then still must learn transposing instrument (which die die must learn) and WAH!! still must remember composers & their era!!! and ARGH!!! must revise on augmented 6th chords, N6 chords & diminished chords!!! WAHAHAHHAHA!!! madness.. and i intend to do 1 paper... S paper... time myself... sheesh.. god bless me.. if i dont' pass.. i'll be really quite sad... hmmz.. but if i dont' pass i'll put in more effort the next time round.. ain't as prepared this year as the years before.. becoz of A's... then neglected my theory.. sighz.. after theory must really practise hard on the exam pieces... i wanna PASSSSSSS then i accomplish a long time childhood dream which was deemed impossible... to obtain a grade 8 cert both in practical & theory...

And here the story ends.
7:32 AM

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

i'm still very much with a fever.. now it's 37.59 degrees... hmmz... not good not good... with theory exams coming up... not good not good...

today taking my FTT better start studying for it man... hmmz.. though it seems tt i'm not really putting much effort into it... and i dont' even feel tt i'm gonna take the exam.. sheesh.. dont' know le... but yuppz better study for it.. then i can pass all of the driving theories.. yuppz yuppz yuppz... :)

hmmz.. bummer.. still raining sheesh.. tpday is gonna be a cold cold day.. and my body is still aching... sheesh...

And here the story ends.
10:28 PM

i'm oficially down with fever.. slight fever but still fever.. 37.58 degrees.. all thanks to my sister... she's down with fever and flu... sheesh.. why must it be this tiem of the year?? where i'm just abt to take my theory exam?? last year also the same.. i used up a full packet of 10 pockte tissues the thick thick one... and ate cough drops just to not irritate pple in the room.. and now fever AGAIN!?!? oh nosh...

and my whole body is aching must be the fever... feelign so uncomfortable... and i'm tired.. must have overworked my body for some strange reason.. i dont' know..

geesh...

And here the story ends.
8:30 AM

what a bigbig bummer.. have been attempting to find wher to d/l this stupid naruto... but efforts seem to be in vain... *bish...

nvr mind, i shall sit around and wait for willy's brother to be back.. hee hee.. then i can watch it again!!! hmmz...

And here the story ends.
2:39 AM

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

listening to jazz currently from the album 'driftin'' u know... i nvr really appreciated jazz... until now.. gives this sorta atmosphere tt i like... very groovy very chill.. u know... but not really every jazz music is appealing to me, those with the fast fast beat i dont' really like.. i like slow ones to moderate ones... :)

hmmz.. my mummy told me to go for psychology (finally i know how to spell it correctly after reading the criterias & stuff in the course) the course demands a lot of reading and i won't kid abt it... i see the courses they say this to READ blah blah syllabus and READ yet another blah blah syllabus... err...

thinks... hmmz.. other then tt.. sheesh my daddy wants me to go for business... but i'm like err... for what??? to get killed in the course ah?? it's a general degree la... but the criterias are very high...

what else... thinks... i'm quite bothered abt this sat's music theory... got so much things to study, so much things to do, so much more practicse i need.. its the last year!! must do well man... if not.. sheesh... if not i'll just need to re-sit for it end of the year... and then there is practical exam, which is no good... i've not yet learn my pieces and its already march liao... man... i wasted quite a bit of time...

And here the story ends.
10:15 PM

hiakz... yet again... my instructor is on LEAVE... argh... then had this really 'bo-chap' instructor... man.. lesson was ultra uncomfortable and BORING.... did right turns and lane change though... argh... and kinda stalled the car again...

what else... i was praying so hard it'll rain during my driving today so i can experience it.. but nonono.. everytime wanna rain dont' rain.. my gosh... bummer...

hmmz... still so FAR away from stage 2... wah *cries cries.. ooh next lesson!!!! looking forward to it... U KNOW WHY??? coz i'm learning U-turns!!!! and roundabouts.. MUAHAHAHA>.. challenging skills.. not bad.. some more my judgement still a bit error-ish... yuppz... yuppz!!!

theory exams coming... *panick!!! final theory coming.. *oh nosh...

And here the story ends.
8:12 AM

Monday, March 08, 2004

it's raining cats and dogs.. hmmz.. bummer.. and it was really heavy...

i'm still thinking abt the song tt i wanna write for my sister for her wedding.. can't seem to get any inspiration... but i now know what i want for the video for her liao... but i wonder.. 3 videos on her wedding day izzit a bit too much??? manz... but seriously i wanna do something u know.. can't possibly sing live right???

hmmz.. there's so much to do this week! got final theory test.. then some more got theory exam.. man.. the got NTU & NUS open house which i most likely would not be able to attend.. then got sleep over.. then next week got this synenergy thing... WAHA?!?!?!?!

hmmz... kk.. enough for a day.. :)

And here the story ends.
7:42 AM

Sunday, March 07, 2004

ive given some tots abt my course.. and personally its like going into 2 extreme direction... at least i feel so...

1. is pshycology... (shucks.. have nvr ever known how to write tt porperly.. but err nvr mind.. i'll know how soon enough...) why this course leh?? dont' know le.. it suddenly just popped up.. when i was sec2, i became interested in the human mind, the behaviour... if i ever went into this line, i would probably attempt to go into specializing in children & teenagers... i don't know le... kinda always felt tt these are the critical stages of life... but currently, not very sure abt the course coz i've not even information abt it...

2. is into the maths field... why?? simply becoz i find a satisfaction solving maths problems... however, i foresee tt i may meet up with problems in maths field just becoz the stuff are getting harder... and i need to be taught really well in order to really understand the problem and solve it... there's a field acturer.. some financing outlook for companies.. sound interesting too...

but besides these 2 choices there's another but most likely doubt will ever go into... which is marine life research.... where u explore the potentials of fish around the world...

well yuppz.. at leats i have some choices in mind...

nopez.. no way am i going into courses like engineering, medical, computing, IT, physics, chemistry.. they'll just bore me to death... and unlikely business coz it'll be ultra hectic and i'm not exactly cut out to be a business kid...

man... god i need your help.. give me a bigger sign!!!

And here the story ends.
5:50 AM

Saturday, March 06, 2004

naruto!!! hmmz very cute anime!!!

anyway.. yuppz i just kinda edited the format of my blog... :) now can see the star big big nice nice.. :)

and the song.. ish so nice!! don't u think so?? :)

And here the story ends.
7:28 AM

Friday, March 05, 2004

upon further thinking, i think i didm my best... i tot i would have failed gp.. but god blessed me... though i hoped to have B for physics.. but i knew tt i'm not cut out for physics..

so conclusion!! as long as i can go uni and do a course tt i like.. A's is not important!!

And here the story ends.
10:31 AM

my results are back.. *shakes head... man with this kinda rubbish-y results i can go where?? man... it sucks...

have been thinking abt my courses though... and one conclusion.. NTU offers more diverse courses then NUS... NUS focuses on too much of science and darn after my results, i kinda lost hope in my sciences... NVR again will i do chem... and well physics ain't my cup of tea either...

my choices currently is very extreme... ranging from arts & social science of pshcology to maths & applied maths to science degree (though after looking at the modules it can eat shit & die)... and geog... i'm seriously considering a course into marinelife... u know fish, bio etc... but its something i've not stepped into at all... i'll just die doing mechanics.. seriously there is nothing appealing abt machineries.. and neither computing amuses me... so i know those 2 options are closed.. i pretty much may step into dentistry but it's something i'm unsure of either...

but seriously where does my passion lie??? i think i may just end up into biz fac or maths department... maths has always been something tt i worked hard for and feel accomplished by it... i used to love physics till i came into contact with JC physics... i hate mechanics u see... i'm more of a theory person then anything else..

LORD!!!! HELP!!!!

And here the story ends.
8:19 AM

Thursday, March 04, 2004

darn... i must retype this again... what great big bummer... but nvr mind...

say how's the weather, so i look out the window, brigthen my soul, butr i can't control the rain tt is falling. smile on the outside, nvr consent, comedy, mystery, i need tragedy...

so i scream let the show begin..

u break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me...

do i entertain u... do i preoccupied u.. with my way, to cover this lie, u mesmerized, do u think me faithful> do u think me a clown? take off this shirt, put on this hat, pour on this paint, just for u?

u break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me..


u break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me..


u break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me..

ending tot though... like how i ended the previous..

"do they collide?" only god knows...

And here the story ends.
9:47 AM

the day ends... hmmmz... i did managed to survive driving though...

say how's the weather, so i look out the windows, brighten my soul, but i can't control the rain tt keep falling. smile on the outside, nvr consent, comedy, mystery,i would need tragedy.

so i scream, let the show begin...

you break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me...

do i entertain u, do i preoccupied u, with my wits, to cover this lie, to mesmirize, to u think me faithful, do u think me a clown.

take out this shirt, put on this hat, wore all this paint, just for u...

do u break me open, turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me...

u break me open... turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me...

u break me open... turn on the lights, stumble inside, with me.. with me...

tmr is A's... man.. its the day... it marks the ending of an education and a beginning of another... i still wonder should i go for synenergy? or should i not... oh nosh.. my head is full of stuff...

"do they collide?" i wonder... for so long.. hmmz...

And here the story ends.
9:47 AM

today is the day before A's are released... man.. i trying my best not to think abt it... it feels so different from O's... at least O's i was 'blur' abt the results.. i didn't know it was the O's i tot it was prelims results... but now i know this is the A's...

but someone taught me tt a cert is just a cert... tt a cert cannot totally mark your future...

i've been giving my tertiary education a really hard thinking... with so many of my frens already in overseas uni.... i'm wondering what on earth do i wanna pursue??

u know it seems funny to be watching abt marine life these few days.. it's like, i've watched 2 documentries abt these 2 singaporean guys who went into the marine life business.. one is an advocate for marine life, the other, owns a fish farm... and they just talk abt how its passion...

a profession without passion is nothing.. intelligence with inspiration is nothing... it truly seems like...

the former talks abt how, his results were so bad, he could not get into a local uni.. so he pursue his uni overseas, and found passion in marine life...

i wonder if this is a sign... man i gotta ask god... fish has been a great part of me since young... if a fish is like tortured or what, i feel for them... (though i still eat fish) i mean talking abt like ornamental fish i feel for them man... i don't know... seriously...

lord, i need a BIG BIG hint abt what u want me to do... i really am SUPER lost...

And here the story ends.
6:38 AM

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

i need inspiration to start doing a video presentation for my sister... man... its hard.. pure hard... and listening to jazz music doesn't help me to think.... ah... maybe not... i think i shall use the jazz music to create something!! cool stuff.. but tt'll mean i needa listen to all the jazz music to know which one fits... bummer... and i've tons of them.. bigger bummer.. oh nosh...

and i need lotsa lotsa photos... and need professional help to know how to make the video presentation look ultra oldish... man.. this is harder then i tot.. i need a video cam.. oh bigger nosh...

ah!!

And here the story ends.
4:44 AM

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

listening to stormie weather now.. so jazz jazz...

watched the pianist today.. man it was so gross... i watched them line up the pple and shoot them.. gross..... heard tt schindler's list is worst.. i do remember watching a bit abt the latter in sec school though.. but wasn't paying attention, coz i was talking to my frens.. hahaha... abt the history of the nazis...

thinks... life is so cruising for me now... though i had a ticked off yesterday for bad behaviour.. haha... no la not tt serious... just have time management problems as usual.. but improving!!

hmmz today had driving... apparently, my instructor was ticked off by the guy before me.. yelled at me for 1 hour and i was liek huh? all the way... until he told me the reason... tt the guy before me refuses to change to 4th gear regardless of whatever he said.. hahaha... so he forced me to change 4th gear all the way... my gosh.. then i scared scared so i drove at 40km.. then today, he said i change gear too sudden, nearly have rear collision with a taxi behind me... (apparently after he said tt i realise tt i didn't adjust my rear view mirror at all) = i didn't even look at my rear view all the way~!! shhhhhh.. i pretended tt i did all the way.. if not surely canna scolded... driving.. is nice.. if have a nice instructor... man i was so fearful for 1 hour... like some prisoner like tt.. haha.. kk.. shall end here.. wanna go watch show.. :)

And here the story ends.
4:16 AM

Monday, March 01, 2004

phillipians 4 :6-7... Bo not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.

genesis 15 :1 ... after this, the word of the Lord came to Abraham in a vision:" Do not be afraid, Abram. i am your shield, your very great reward."

such are the verses that marked my day yesterday, the day after the incident with the toilet...

i must admit, i had be anxious in heart when i was crying out to the Lord... and this verse just reminded me that, through my wails to God, he has heard me. and even though, at that time, i was so into a panic attack, his peace was with me, through it all...

in addition, gen 15:1, reminded me that at any one point in my life, when i was in that toilet, HE was my shield, my great reward. he shield me from danger and the day could have turned out worst, but, HE was my shield, and HE'll let no harm come even come close to me...

Amen...

And here the story ends.
6:29 AM