Wednesday, June 30, 2004

what a nightmare... just a day of matriculation and i'm dead tired. there was this 10 station thing, apparently, it took me 2 full hour before i completed every single station. and u know something? it's like one room after another, u get ushered like a mad kid. then, there was this notebook craze. i settled on fujitsu. apparently, everyone i know voted for me to buy tt model so okay lor... anyway... the interesting thing is tt i'm going to have to seriously think abt what cca do i wanna join. unlike in jc, where i just wanted to chill out didn't want to have too many cca involvements, in uni, i kinda wanna try something new. i know for sure i wanna join the bodywork club coz i wanna join pilates. :). the thing is i dont' know to choose between drama(i kinda like acting ever since i became involved in 2 church plays), guitar, visual arts (photo taking... hee hee), badminton (developed a liking for the sports in ac after i tortured rui to play with me every week haha... there is this recreational badminton for starters. the only catch is u have to pay $299 EACH TERM so err... think twice...) and there is this UN thing which seems interesting (But its like joining interact once more... and i wanna join something totally different in uni, to challenge myself and to have a different experience altogether)... and i dont' wanna kill myself by joining 3 ccas... so i think its the odds between all the above competing... anyway... lemme go think abt the cca part... darn... u know, i think i oughta go find a buddy soon... with all the upcoming programmes in line, it'll be very lonely to keep going alone... though, i must say, i did spot many pple i know... but they are all already going with frenz! darn... haha... oh yah i did forget abt one impt other commitment and tts cf... thinking of joining. but u see, i dont' wanna weigh myself with too many programmes afterall, as much play as there need to be in uni life, u need to work as well as rest. smu... a really different environment. except it does remind me abt ac life... 1, spend a lot of money. 2, enthusiasm. 3, the passion for the school. sounds familiar ehz?? oh, did i even mention tt there's tons of programmes coming up tt line my week... so basically, my free time ends like this week??? ooh mi gosh! tts FAST!!! i'm not complaining but i feel quite lost in the new school. esp since i've not exactly found a person to go with me to each of the event. like a lost lamb like tt.. haha... kk... but currently i know pple who are going are like ming yuen, genius, jing wen, yi xin, pat, and tts abt all tt i know... wow tts so little. but i'm sure there'll be more... hahaha... oh i hope tt my acting still can pass, coz i really wanna join this SPA thing, its a community project by touch, and it's all abt reaching out to pple via stage performances?? and i kinda am interested in challenging my limits?? manz.. there are simply so many new things to face... and i still feel quite lost... a bit like when i was going to jc like tt.. just tt in jc, i had a couple of frens tt i know. in uni its like... err..... .... .... oh yah before i blog finish for now... u know some how, i think guys seriously some do not grow up... there was this bunch of guys sitting behind me, commenting on every girl tt walks out of the room. and my gosh. its like they would say things like. hey tt one cute cute!! u get the idea. i mean, u go uni to study or to check out girls? hmmz... and the girl whom they say cute, maybe its a differenr taste, coz i won't really rate her as cute, all she has is blonde hair and mini skirt. i mean, i know many girls who are really cute and sweet. haha... oh well whom am i to comment. kk bath time!

And here the story ends.
4:49 AM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

manz... what an interesting day... let's start talking abt mrs moth first. u see, i noticed this weird looking moth in my room like 3 days ago. apparently, i didn't bother abt it, coz if i'm not wrong all the insects tt had a fling in my room at one point or another (with exception of a really irritating mosqito) all tend to only survive one night in my freezing cold room. so i tot this moth will undergo the same fate. i'm wrong. initially, i tot this moth was mr. moth, but now i'm WRONG. its mrs moth. how would i know? coz it layed eggs in my room. yellow clumps of disgusting looking moth eggs. EEEEEEEEEE... i'm okay with moths flying but i'm not so fond of moth laying eggs esp in my room, can u imagine one fine night whilst sleeping i feel this itchy ticklish thing crawling around me? waking up to realise its a WORM? freak out man... anyway.. let's leave mrs moth aside, becoz she's currently some where in the bin... u know, family have their problem at one time or another. apparently, my family have quite a heaty issue at hand... am quite worried to be exact, but, can't do much abt it though. u see, my aunt and uncle wants a divorce. the problem? well typical problem of not having enough money. the interesting part is tt my uncle doesn't gamble. he's just, a heavy smoker. my aunt, is a deligent worker and mother of 2. i'm not worried if they do divorce coz in the 1st place when they got married i asked my sister this:"jie, can u ever believe tt your youngest uncle actually got hitched?" coz in my mind, i nvr believed tt he will ever get married due to his bo chap way of living. i'm only worried abt the 2 kids, one is 4 and the other 2. the oldest is a boy and very sensible. the other, i can't say much. she's a ba dao queen. who demands every single attention and sweets in sight. the brother, is very nice by nature i mean he will say this when u give him a packet of sweet:" oh i will share with mei mei." i mean, when i was a kid, i dont' even remember saying tt like "oh i will share with jie jie." haha... coz i love eating sweets. hmmz. next is the issue of them growing up roofless. and their education. and if their parents really do get divorced, i'm gonna miss seeing my cousins... think abt it, i kinda like them both though they are really violent. remember abt the boy cousin who tormented me for 4 days? yuppz tts him. hmmz. each family will have their own problem, its a matter of time. but according to my mum 90% they will really get divorced. so, keep fingers crossed and keep praying.

And here the story ends.
8:04 AM

Sunday, June 27, 2004

it's proven... it's just A.I. ... man, i cant' believe i cried for the 2nd time watching this show... first time in cinema, second time at home. it's just soemthing tt made me cry uncontrollably. seriously, i dont' even know what. but i just cry, as stupid as it may sound. but yah. interesting. but after having watched it the 1nd time, i understood some things tt i didn't previously.

And here the story ends.
10:06 AM

here comes the interesting part.. should i join the symphonic band again? i think i got a little outta touch with music. or should i join a sport for once? or some should i try drama (though apparently i start laughing half the time when acting from previous plays but other then tt still okay...) hmmz.. i know i'll be joining pilates... or should i try student association and kill myself with heavy workload? hmmz

And here the story ends.
8:24 AM

Saturday, June 26, 2004

god was wonderful today. he blessed the day. he blessed go wild. u know, i was so worried tt there would be heavy downpour today? haha, and it's becoz, i didn't plan the wet weather plan! (simply, over worked for 1 week, haha.. but at the bottom is just plain lazy to think). but god is gracious and withheld the rain for us. :) anyway, go wild, was err won't say totally perfect, (perfection is in the eye of the beholder) but i think, it did its purpose. *winkz*
oh well, lemme see, i think the side effect of everything is, i've lost part of my voice, now my voice is one really hoarse voice (apparently, i can't even sing one tune properly, because my voice keeps breaking.. now u know how bad) (or rather, i can't even sing at all! i only can mumble the words) and it feels weird.
ran around sentosa today like a mad kid. seriously, MAD. and keep on using the walkie talkie (playing a fool, serious talk, and spot checking) think abt it, why did i do so much anyway? i should have just relaxed. but whats done cannot be undone.
being tired and grumpy to me, is common, haha. so i dont' really care, but apparently, i'm beginning to realise tt i've placed unwanted stress on my physical body (i dont' know why, coz i'm just plain slacking). becoz now my lungs always seem out of breath (liting told me was becoz my lungs too much CO2 or something like tt)and just now, after a short nap when i woke up, my vision was super blurish, like really cloudy, i tot it was the haze, but i was in a room, and proven tt it was just me. so tts quite scary. really scary. really really really scary, i tot i was loosing my vision! but then it cleared after like a much waited 30 min.
i think ever tt retreat on time is precious, i can't help but feel vulnerable tt i may faint and nvr wake up. i'm sorry, but i think i'm not suppose to feel this way. but i can't help but feel weird.
maybe i shoudl just go get a proper rest for the coming week. july is all in view of preparation for uni and my piano exams.. (GASP grade 8 liao... i'm super scared cannot play play)... buy before tt i'm gonna go take a wind down at WCP, sipping a nice hot cappauccino... :) oopz.. i think i should not take coffee... err.. what ever... tata~!

And here the story ends.
6:41 AM

Saturday, June 19, 2004

"i ask myself who am i"... and i don't know. what the pastor said was right. those pple who doesn't know who are they are the saddest thing alive on earth. and i so happen to after 19 years of my life, i seriously dont' know who i am. i've joked around for 19 years, in the middle suffered depression here and there. time to get my life back on track and figure out what's my purpose on earth. the scary thing tt i think has ever happened to me is to realise my mind lives on a thin line between angelic and evil. i think tt is what pple call the dark side bah... i can be super morbid when i want, thinking all the negative but at the same time i stray back onto the positive side.. the thin line... after the camp, after realising the importance of time, i realise i ain't living for myself any more but god... the weird thing is tt after coming back from camp, i'm filled with a weird seriousness regards to life or anything and everything tt is involved in it... i think if the qns "who am i" is posted to anyone, 90% will find it hard to answer... anyway i'm kinda tired... time to rest. tot for the day.. "who are you?"

And here the story ends.
10:15 AM

Friday, June 18, 2004

sun rise, sun set. there's a time for everything and a time for nothing. "time is almost up, quick go do the things u need, i'll be waiting here." he said. what does it mean? i dont' know. "xiao jie, kuai qi lai, yao dao le." came another. time is precious, and it's ticking away. i don't wanna go think abt what it really mean, coz to a certain extent it sounded real for once. the weird thing is, everything is coming to me at one shot. things tt needed to be cleared is coming to me at one shot. maybe the instinct i had when i was a kid, was really true. pray like nvr before.

And here the story ends.
7:19 AM

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

hey guess what?? my dad found the phone back... amen... just tt the sim card has been defaced... judging tt he could do it in such a short period of time, i must say he is quite good at it... now i'm worried tt he might come back at night and haunt my sister... now i hope even more for my sister gets discharged today...

And here the story ends.
9:56 PM

how evil can some pple get?? quite evil... see my sister hp got stolen... right in her bed.... u see, this guy came into the hospital room searched the whole room, and grabbed my sister's hp which so happened to be underneath her... u heard me underneath my sister on her bed... and the guy walked out of the room... only to bang into my dad, but apparently, my dad reaction quite slow and the guy ran away... i mean, hello?!?!? hospital sick patient and u tell me u're here to steal hp... i'm darn mad at the guy la!! i know tt some pple are evil tt when u drop your hp they pick up and use it as theirs.. or, they snitch your bag away when u are walking... but HOSPITAL??? pple sick bad enough u come and steal from them?? whats their problem??

And here the story ends.
9:36 PM

ren you bei guan li he, yue you yin qing yuan jue. this week, seen a little bit more abt life, understood a little more abt how blessed i am to be around. saw how impt one week is, one day, one hour, one second is. i pray tt my sister would be okay by tmr. and lately, news around me ain't very pleasant. i guess, there's a purpose to it all. when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

And here the story ends.
3:15 AM

Hikari no Naka e (escaflowne)
nigiri shimeta te wo hodoita nara
tabun kore de subete ga ima owatte shimau
shiritakatta koto kizutsuku koto
sae mo nanihitotsu yarinokoshita mama de
anata ga deau shiawase wo
negaitai hazu na no ni
dekinai mijuku na jibun ni
fuite mo namida ga deru
sayonara
aishite-iru
anata wo dare yori
sora yori mo fukaku
nakanaide
mata aou ne
demo aenai koto
watashi dake shitte-iru no
konna unmei wo eranda koto
itsuka anata ni mo hontou no imi ga wakaru wa
futari tsukutta kioku no takara
zutto kokoro no kakure ya de ikite'ku yo
kireigoto da to omotte'ta
kibou to iu kotoba wo
kurushii kurai dakishimete
anata wo miagete-iru
arigatou
aishite-iru
anata wo dare yori
yume yori mo tsuyokudakishimete
hanasanaide
dakedo hitokoto mo
tsutaerarenaide...
nakanaide
aishite-iru
tooku hanarete'te mo
anata to ikite yukeru

And here the story ends.
1:55 AM

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

it's raining... and along comes thunder and lightning... i love rain but am scared of thunder... had a dream 2 days ago, which was quite frightening... was climbing this err, very unstable wall with 2 other pple trying to run away from someone i think... but then, the person caught up with us and sent a snake to catch us... and the snake bit me, on my spine. a green evil looking snake. then i woke up. 1st, snakes ain't my best fren. since young, i kinda am afraid of them. slimy little creatures... eeeee!!! 2nd, so far i only recall have 2 dreams involving snakes (including this one) and both time i woke up. according to chinese, dreaming of snakes means good luck, i'm still trying to understand the logic behind it though. shall go to the library today. i'm really bored at home. and going library at least makes me do something. afterall, i did finish planning the games already.

And here the story ends.
11:22 PM

haven't blogged in days. hmmz. life seem a little dazed to me now... my sis is down with dengue, and it was quite weird to see her lying in the hospital bed looking helpless with this drip thing... and she keeps complaining of itchy skin. hiakz... hmmz, what else have i been up to?? oh.... i toured little india.. lovely place... did a little henna painting on my hand too... and now i like going mustafa to shop... very interesting place, and i bought a lot of dvds... hahah... SMU letter also came... lotsa stuff to go thru.. like really lots... i know i'm not alone on this... but i'm like... errr... so mah fun?? pretty tired lately, there's this games day thing tt is being planned currently and my brain juice has been squeezed out. in addition, just finish this dialect skit thing... apparently, haha... i didn't sound so bad afterall!! oh i shall go visit my jie tmr and see how is she... pray tt she'll be fine soon... i kinda miss having her around to nag at me and kick my butt...

And here the story ends.
11:31 AM