Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

Saturday, July 31, 2004

how fun can a make-over be?? quite fun actually... haha... went for the cleo mag make-over thing. my sister went for the 30 voucher for make up. her fren went for the esp card, and i had to go for a make-over (as said by my sister). so i went lor. the deal was quite good. for 30 bucks, u get a 30 bucks espirit make up voucher, a bag of goodies (which apparently includes a pink umbrella, pink lip sheer, pink cleo bag, pink powder. everything pink. u get the idea), a photo shoot with outfit from espirit, and a simple styled hair. and of course, make up. well, it started with the make up. i don't know why, but does my face appeals to pple in such a way, tt all the make up i've done for drama, skits, has to be all purple and pink. coz, the make up lady did the same. she placed layers of weird foundation on my skin, not tt i need too much, its like, starts with some potion thing, to add glimmer of shine to the face, then a stick foundation. then some cooling powder and lotsa loose powder. but thank goodness doesn't feel too thick. then, she started dabbling purple, pink, and glittery purple, glittery pink eye shadow on my eyes. and it's like i think she spend most of her time on my eyes. felt so over loaded. then the mascara. then the red lip liner and red lipstick. yesh u heard me RED. wow... my sister, commented i look like a vamp. but she said i looked like a pretty vamp. next, outfit change. now this one is super interesting, coz its like the lady who styled me, had something vampy in mind. she gave me a red skirt, and a black base with red polka dots sheer looking top. (i think it must have been becoz i was wearing some very funky ear ring tt was red.) so i went in and got quite a shock. coz the top is pretty translucent i can see my bra. so i asked if there was something else, then she gave me this halter top which is not very flattering, coz it was a dull black. and then she decided to get me something more cheerful. she got me a black tolga looking top. so basically i look darn funky man... quote sister "u look darn retro. punk man u're so punk." i laughed non stop. coz it was really funny. red hot skirt leh... but at the end of the day, i quite liked the red skirt. seriously. it was striking and it fit me quite well... anyway, next came the hair styling. the lady who did my hair was so very err... striking, she wore this tight pink army top. which showed off her bra. cute. haha... anyway.. i happily sat down to do my hair. and then, a lot of pple started gathering to watch the make-over. and started staring at me. quite indimidating. i wonder if it was the red hot skirt tt caught their attention or the fact tt my make up looked vampish or tt i was sitting at the entrance of the espirit shop and the MCs were making a whole load of announcement abt the make over. and so i squirmed in my chair, and trying to appear as lady like as i could. haha... the next part is my fav photo shoot!!! the guy who did the photo shoot is darn funny. made me laugh and laugh. u know, to finalise the look, i was made to wear a red cap. add more attitude to the shoot man... and, i was the only one who wore a cap for the shoot... hahahaha... well, the shots came up quite nicely, loved how the photographer captured the shots. maybe, if i do get to load the photo up when i get the photos, u'll know how it turned out. :P lastly, came the goodie bag, card, adn buying of make up... it's so amusing... well... at the end of the day... i really had lotsa fun... but i'm still wondering, should i purchase the red skirt??? hahaha...

And here the story ends.
8:33 AM

Friday, July 30, 2004

Dear all. the blog is still under going revamping. this is what i've gotten till so far. i'm quite dead beat already. sat at the comp for since 1 am. and now its 5 am in the morning. the tag board is still down, coz i've problems fixing it up. it messes the entire layout. *oh bummer*. and besides tt, some links ain't working yet. coz, i'm currently too tired to bother abt it yet. well... i just wanna thank joon hong for helping me out with some computer code again... esp, when i'm seriously IT idiot. only know how to compare codes and imput it into the template. but am quite happy and satisfied to where i've done up till already. if u're wondering, this template is seriously a little "dark & gothic" chose it when i was in a dark mood. and i kinda liked it. would try hard to hard new features to e blog, like pictures (though i need to go ask around for the codes first), blibical sharing, songs?? maybe... oh bummer.. i'm really shagged.. still have to wake up before noon tmr.. oh, tts it.. i'm crashing my head on the bed already. if i wait any longer, my dad will wake up and i can have breakfast with him already... hahah... kk... tts it... bed here i come... i still can't believe i managed to scrap through and get a blog running...

And here the story ends.
2:18 PM

god spoke. i was laying in bed late last night, with a really bad headache. and i decided to ask god to help me with certain issues in life. i was listening to a cd my sister bought. forgot the cd name but the song was "amazing love". and then, i saw this "our daily journey" book. i got up, and said "god, if u wanna speak to me, k la, i flip the book and u talk to me." he did. july 23rd>> "whatever u do" okie, so what did i do? "whatever u do, whether in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus." un huh, good lord, u are darn powerful."live your life the way jesus would live it if He were in your place." >> "make your mark - leave jesus name on all you do." oh good lord, no need to nail me so hard right?? i know, i've not been obeying u through a lot of things... but, oh well i guess if u nvr nail me right on the head, i won't have learnt. then i flipped. july 29>> "love doesn't come easy"oh yea man good lord, love doesn't come easy. it's tough business man, so what do u have to say abt it?? "picture it. a man and a woman fall in love, they decide to get married, & suddenly they & their ofsprings are staring across the dinner table at eachother." uh huh..."what matters most in a family - .... are the acts of love, not the feelings of love." good lord, u no need like tt one right??? hiakz... yesh yesh, love is not a feeling thing... bu u still haven't quite tell me how ma... and it ended with the way you love will help or hurt relationships.shooot me, quick some one shoot me... i know this far too well... quick quick!!! it's like, god's trying to tell me something. but i don't know what. maybe coz, i know i'm shutting off the important part. then today what ju xing shared during Jcell. abt obedience. i'm like yes man, shooooot me quick. wah... i cannot take the stress... from experience, the way i've loved has indeed hurt and strengthen relationships. its like kamikaze u know... though most are still picking up.. coz i'm 19, must clear problems and not bear grudges. coz i wanna be FREE!!!!! free to dance in HIS name, free to rejoice and proclaim his greatness. james was sharing today abt how, obedience can lead to revival of ownself, family and even church. and i was thinking. god is this such a time like this?? tt obedience has to play a part? james was also sharing abt how, we should obey our parents till marriage, coz parents are there for a reason. and i know, in particular my mummy's concern for all my friendship problems. and she has been advocating tt i need to get married. and the criterias and blah blah blah. sometimes, i seriously feel staying single is a good thing... at least she won't nag at me. the final tot is tt i know, something within me is abt to burst out. something inside of me wanna feel FREE... wanna be uncaged. is it the calling of god? are there things i need to settle? are there issues in which i need to obey god? god ah... can u just tell me straight out loud what u want me to do??? i've a slight hint but could u just blow it all at me. like crash a cymbal or something? like joshua, i need to find faith in God. like joshua, i need to believe and trust God. there are greater things god wants me to achieve i know. letting go is tt the issue god is trying to deal with me now? is it the time to learn the lesson of letting go of everything? all my security blanket? testing of faith? god, could u tell me straight in the face, whats the lesson u want me to learn this time round? amazing love, how can it be? tt u my king would die for me? how amazing is your love oh father. i know u love me a lot a whole darn lot. and i really wanna honour u with my life and whatever thing i do. are u using my mummy to tell me things i should know? or is it a test of faith? the lines are bluring a bit for tt... good lord in heaven, hear my prayers. i really do wanna honour u in all i do. forgive me for whatever wrong i've done. good lord, teach me how, how to really practice trusting in u. how to stand firm in you. teach me how to love the way u want me to love. teach me how to release to be FREE! teach me what you'll do in situations, so i may follow and know its right. i love u lord, and i know u love me lots too...

And here the story ends.
11:24 AM

geesh. i decided. not to go for the stats test, heard tt its darn difficult. and i dont' wanna burn 25 bucks to do some test i've no confidence in. anyway, went for SPA training today. darn fun. and i realise i'm getting more dramatic by the day. the way i talk nowadays, its like 180- degrees change. like i'm talking more crap, dramatic crap to be exact, making funny voices and faces. but it does burn a lot of energy, haha... like, i'll get super tired by midnight, becoz i've been too hyper the whole day. sighz.. oh my gosh!! oh my gosh... school is starting~!! wah... tired tired... i think for the next 2 weeks i better tone down a bit and save some energy for school. talking abt tonning down, i seriously suspect something is wrong with my head. coz i've been getting serious headaches for the past few days. ever since wed, a part of my head hurts like really badly. then i cannot concentrate properly. hmmz, hope it gets better. ooh!! tell a joke, i almost fainted in the toilet today. the reason? coz i saw a centipete in the toilet bowl. man, its pure disgusting!!! u know, the centipete is exactly like the one drawn on the mahjong tile?? green and red??? yesh.. its simply disgusting. and the worst is, i was doing my business halfway then i looked down and saw this disgusting looking little thing. and, i quickly stood up and stand at a corner of the toilet, and keep telling myself "breathe breathe breathe. its just a little thing, quick flush the toilet and get outta there." i froze for 5 min. and after flushing, the thing was still ALIVE!!! wah... then i just ran outta the toilet. ... nvr will i wanna see a red and green centipete

And here the story ends.
10:37 AM

Thursday, July 29, 2004

its raining again. u know hor, i kinda forgot how to set up a new blog template liao. so i'm like stuck with a blog with no picture behind. anyway, i'm thinking to sign up for the stats test anot, coz i haven't started studying for it yet and to finish within a week is quite impossible. oh bummer. so should i or should i not? anyway, i went shopping yesterday. *sweat sweat* and spent quite a bit too. i bought 1 singlet from espirit (which is darn cute) and another singlet and a bag from mango. apparently the mango bag looks like some girly bag to me. and its pink! i like. haha. err, don't get me wrong my fav colour is not pink. its just tt i'm into my "pink, girly" season. ever since i came back from malaysia with a pink princess looking footwear. anyway, currently trying to source for blue base eye shadow. think i just might get the espirit one. if i go buy shu uemera one again my mummy will just scold me. not cheap leh. hmmz, with the great singapore sales over, its like the new line of consumer product is in. oh i should just stop myself from going orchard again, if not i'll just be spending money again. oh bummer. i wonder, how am i to set up a new blog face for this blog. *think hard*

And here the story ends.
6:30 AM

Monday, July 26, 2004

its a run against the mind. shutting down of memories, and closing the door for as long as it can. part and parcel of peeling off tt outer layer and emerging as a new self. i've learnt the hard way of self defense. if u're too nice, pple tend to take advantage of u. and they use u in despicable ways. manipulation, and your life is ruined. picking up the pieces, and move on. tears replaced by shields. and when u walk, dont' look back. i once was called ice queen, but the ice broke. coz, i tot tt pple were nice and no evil intentions. but i was wrong. and ice became shield once more, towards those who has manipulated me to their advantage. contradiction still lies, coz i still believe tt man are good unless proven otherwise. sore but not defeated. i won't fall into another manipulating trap again.

And here the story ends.
8:21 AM

Sunday, July 25, 2004

rejuvenation. tts what i need to go through. these past weeks, i've been rushing around, and for what? i dont' know. just need to find tt peace yet again. i've been ignoring the fact tt my spiritual life is drained. i took a night stroll just now at west coast park. whilst walking, i can feel the quietness around me. there were pple meditating, pple cuddling under the shelters. it was all so serene. sureal. but whilst i was walking back, i suffered temporary memory blanks. u know, its like for a short 5 second, i forgot where i was? i couldn't figure out which part of west coast park i was? its like, i felt unconnected to the environment. but it was scary to suddenly lost all memories of the path tt i was walking. like a door shut. and the key thrown away. something is missing from my life. and tt is i've strayed a little away from god. as much as i do pray at night, but it's like always one sided. i know its on my part i just shut god's voice. but u know what? during my short walk, i could feel god's love embracing me. though i was walking alone by myself, and suffered a short memory blank, i knew tt i was not alone, coz there was no sense of fear. rather, a comforting feeling was surrounding me. and tt's the love of god. i still can remember what one pastor told me when he was praying for me. he told me tt, i would meet with a lot of criticism. but i need to stand firm in god. he said tt, i've talents tt god has given me, and just leave the criticism aside. how true his words are. shortly after i started my stint with SPA, a friend of mine came up and told me:"val, u go join these kind of weird thing for what? u are not cut out to be an actor. u have a carrot face." yuppz, tts what i heard. but i remember what chris told us(my drama instructor):"i don't have talent for acting. but it was through HIM tt i went through 10 years of drama training." acting cannot be taught. it's only through experiences. i didn't have talents in acting to begin with. i just toyed around doing drama flicks in my mind. but it's not me, it's not all abt me. there's a big world out there. even if i don't have the talents to begin with, i'm willing to train tt small seed. (as weird as it may sound, my interest in acting came from acting a bitchy role). and there have been so much criticism from others abt my piano playing, coz there's a much better pianist in the youth. i can't be compared to her i know. i didn't have the talents in music to begin with. i wanted to give up so many many many times. but i know, its through HIM, i've come thus far. i've found release through spritual worship in keyboard playing, in piano playing at home. and i really thank god. i guess, this is the point in my life, where its time to move out of my comfort zone again. to challenge myself in terms of drama, in terms of music. to stand firm in god's words and rise up to all the criticism. through HIM i'm strengthened. we fall down, we lay our crowns. at the feet of jesus. the greatness of, mercy and love, at the feet of jesus. sometimes i wonder, if my life is so chaotic now, without jesus, won't i have already attempted to kill myself ages ago? there are simply so many things in my life tt i'm thankful to god for. and one of the top thing is tt i've been set free from the bondage of suicidal attempts. HE really loves me a lot a lot. without him, i'm really nothing... nothing at all.

And here the story ends.
9:24 AM

Saturday, July 24, 2004

a rather traumatic day. the day started really well for me. it was raining outside, such good weather to curl up in bed. then, some more, its my mummy's birthday today! then, the whole afternoon spent lazing around, watching sia ri de mo mo cha. a super oldie show but i like. hahaha... anyway, really enjoyed my afternoon... but tts where bad things started to happen. kc was driving the van today to church. i was running late. so apparently he was driving slightly faster. which i'm quite used to, but like i'll get a fright once in a while coz some car will try to illegally cut into our lane (which i'm very irritated by). well, the thing is, i kinda suffered a shock when the van almost knocked a person down. u see, we were approaching church. from a far, i saw a jogger on the walkway, jogging jogging jogging. orh, not jogging he was running fast. being the very scared of pedestrian self, i wanted to warn kc, but before i can warn, the guy just dashed across the road. i was really surprised coz he nvr look right before crossing the road. he presumed no cars and just dash across the road. gave me a fright of my life. coz if we were one second late, we probably would have knocked him down. but the thing tt puzzled me is why the guy nvr look before crossing one?? some more he running le... hmmz, then he crashed into the side window lor... gave me a scare. a really bad scare. i suffered such a bad scare tt when i was walking up the stairs to church, i almost fell down like a dozen times coz my legs were shaking really badly. and my legs has never gone shaky with exception of after running or tt incident of being locked in toilet. and, throughout the first half the music prac, i had to keep telling myself, it's okay, no body injured, no body killed. god will give me peace. and my mind just went completely blank. i just couldn't concentrate on playing. but, at least, i still can convince myself tt its okay. u know. what really hurt me today emotionally was what john said though. he was like err, i tot u not playing so i asked have some one to replace u. and now we have 5 co leads. and he asked me what am i gonna do. in the first place, he nvr really personally asked me whether i could or could not play. and with regards to tt, he said, kian hong told me u couldn't make it so i tot u can't. i didn't ask u personally coz asking u is like doubting what kian hong had told him. to me, tt is no excuse. fine, perhaps i didn't clearly say "that i'll be late for music prac on sunday, but i will still play" to kian hong, becoz i told him tt in a very noisy hawker centre. but i did repeat myself twice. but, as a person, as a musician for the youth, i do deserve some respect do i? asking won't kill u. maybe becoz some times when i talk he find me sacarstic la, which i don't mean it, i'm just a bit naggy in my words. but i think as a leader, it is important to clarify things personally. not through word of mouth. and the moment he told me tt "i tot u not playing so i asked have some one to replace u. and now we have 5 co leads, what to do now?" i felt so extra. seriously, its like, u try to make it for the music practice, u skip half of your drama practice to serve, and some one tell me indirectly scram we dont' need u, how would u feel? i'm fine not serving, seriously, i mean, i get more time to myself, to do things tt i need to do. and then and there i just said. okie, if u don't want me to serve, i'm fine i can leave now. i dont' want to be the extra. i won't want to take out your space. if u want me to leave, i'll just leave. no point staying around and doing some one else's preassigned duty. i guess, i shouldn't complain. i'm in music team becoz i wanna serve God, not to please other pple. as much there are thorns around u, just stand firm in faith in Him bah. throughout this week, there have been quite a number of remarks saying tt you should depend more on yourself then God, tt praying will not help. but i got to stand firm in Him. coz i know where ever i am now, is becoz God has guided me to. without Him, i won't have gotten through to today. keep the faith going. have to keep the faith going.

And here the story ends.
8:58 AM

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

seriously, i think the next company on my list to boycott is fujitsu. the guy called me up today and said, err, i couldn't detect whats wrong with your computer system. then i told him when i encountered the problem, then he say. orh sounds like an operating system fault, then i HUH? then he say i help u reload your laptop for you lor, but everything inside will be erased. i'm like, ehz, i didn't even do anything to the comp... seriously, i didn't even get the chance to. u erased also i don't really care. then, i said, hey can i just do a one-one exchange, coz i feel so insecure. i mean, first u give me a faulty mouse, then u tell me my laptop got problem, and i haven't even used it properly for school work, already got so many problems, u tell me how to trust your product? so he say, err, your 7 days is up. i'm like what! sorry lor, i know the invoice wrote 12th july, but u guys were the one who told me to collect on the 16, i don't even know anything abt tt 12th july lor... then he told me don't be unreasonable. i mean, i'm not trying to unreasonable. its not as if a laptop is tt cheap okay. i dont' print money to keep spending. some more, if the laptop truly have problem, who is to be blamed? fujitsu will surely say user fault right? then their expect me to pay for the fault right? but in the first place, fujitsu was the one who gave me a faulty laptop lor... imagine, next time doing presentation halfway the laptop die on me, who is to be blamed at tt time? the teachers won't care tt you have some operating system fault. their will care tt u didn't do your presentation lor. maybe its becoz i seriously, feel in secure with it already. once u lose faith in a certain product, its so hard to trust the product again. like the other time, i went to this biotherm counter. wah! the girl at the counter super extremely inpolite. i wonder if she's more concern abt her braces or she's more aware tt she's in the service line, coz simply if it was the latter, i couldn't tell. and she had horrendous eyeshadow colour. maybe she was ultra self-conscious. then i asked a computer guy friend of mine for an advice, since i know nuts abt comp. then he said, there's no such thing as a operating system fault. then i say then why did fujitsu tell me there's such a fault? then he said, coz, u gullible everytime canna cheated by pple, esp in terms of electronic stuff.. seriously, i've boycotted nokia, imagine, i had to go down to the nokia service centre for 5 times within the first 6 - 9 months of buying the phone. till i told them. exchange the mother board for me. then after which, no problem. then, my this packard bell, k packard bell was seriously, user fault. coz it kept crashing hahaha... then rui said, u ah... you seriously abuse your comp its gone case... but at least its still working... k the key thing is... i dont' want my laptop to be like nokia. i mean its a case of once bitten twice shy. i don't want fujitsu service centre to be like my most frequent place. first, to walk there is really tiring. and to wait to service my laptop takes darn long time. and it's darn expensive. its like the second most expensive thing my parents bought for me, after my piano. i'm really sad la... i just wanna break tt curse tt i'm ill-fated with eletronics stuff... and since when there was such a curse anyway. but just feel so insecure abt it and unlucky.. BAH...

And here the story ends.
11:01 PM

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

wah... what's with me and computers??? i shall not carry on with the lie tt i cant work well with computers... it's just a luck thing right?? i mean, what's the probability tt when u got your laptop, your mouse is spoilt? there's a weird error tt might be caused by a conflict in your software?? i mean seriously, can't be tt suay right?? 1 week after i happily carried my tablet home, i came to a realisation tt mr. mouse is spoilt (got it changed though), and there's a weird error in my computer... hmmmmmz... hiakz... shakes head... i will not carry on living the lie tt i am incompatible with computers!!! i will not!!! *pokes laptop* u better start making friends with me, coz its gonna be a long 4 years u know... *pokes laptop some more*

And here the story ends.
10:31 PM

Monday, July 19, 2004

its a monday. again. its strange to just sit back and listen to the big battles in my head. like sudden flood of tots will come gushing in abt something, then at another mmt something else will pop up. i was trying to recall past memories of pple whom i was very close with. there was this particular one. and all i could remember was a chess set and oreo cookies and fish. i'm always fascinated with my memories coz, i realise when some one does something tt makes u dread their every move, u're memory tt was made with tt person close shut. its some where there in the back, but its locked behind a door and the key is dropped into the big big ocean. and another person, this one got a bit more memories at least it means tt the door is still slightly ajar. i remember, the oceans, spiral, X, walks. but what is more significant is void decks, books, 144, water chestnut and barley. oh and chicken wings... anyway, enough abt memories. my cousin came over for the afternoon. oh man, it was such an interesting experience tt made me appreciate being the youngest in the family and having no younger brothers. every other minute, my cousin will beg me to bring him down to play. which i gave in after 1 hour. and so i was nanny for the afternoon, watching my cousin play with the waters whilst i was trying my best to understand freud. didn't make it past page 2 coz my cousin was spraying water at passerbys and i had to stop him. its weird, coz, i'm sure tt there will be more times like this, whereby he comes during the afternoons. but once both my sister and i start school, i don't think my mother will think abt bringing him over, coz... my mum loves living a tai-tai life. but will, having a kid in the house sure spice things up. it gets noisier for sure. hahaha... and making sure my cousin does his colouring exercise. (yea and today's picture is a witch.. haha)

And here the story ends.
11:02 PM

Thursday, July 15, 2004

i think i had a little too much fun today... played badminton and tennis with ganny... no wonder, i'm feeling a little tired now... which is normal... anyway, hope to have regular seissions esp badminton, then i can keep fit! hmmz, anyway... went to 7-eleven after my game, and i was so amused by this mash potato making thing... okie, i know it has existed in a 7 - eleven stall for a very long time already, just tt, this is the first time i tried eating from one.... it's an idiot proof machine. 1. take cup, place it under the nozzle. 2. press button. 3. a milky looking goo will drip into the cup, which is *gasp* the potato. it's liquid form when it come out, but after a short 2 second, it solidifies... (this is the part tt i was like WOW.... a bit stupid la..but, u know first time first time..) 4. the thick gravy oozes out... and wah la! mash potato at your command... and it's piping hot... but nevertheless, good enough for my liking... hmmz.. i'm gonna get my laptop tmr... means i get to finally burn all my anime into cds... which means, i get to free this comp from being over worked, becoz the memory is always lingering between the 200MB space... and it being highly unstable... which means, i get to delete some old anime after burning into cds, and, d/l new ones! though, i'm still thinking abt anime X, tt's left on the shelve in a vcd shop in tampines... hmmz 88 bucks leh... i buy liao..no money for 2 weeks le... shucks, i think i get sun burnt easily... coz, now, the skin on my back aches... and i only played 1 and a half hour of tennis only! and it's painful already... next time i shall put sun block lotion... anyway, time to retreat into the comfort of my bed room.. :)

And here the story ends.
8:05 AM

table border=1 bordercolor=black cellspacing=0 width=250px>>
WARNINGvalerie is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.
From Go-Quiz.com

And here the story ends.
7:54 AM

Yoshimi -

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

And here the story ends.
7:03 AM

whats this with army guys trying to find a girl to marry now... i've already 2 friends who told me to find a partner for them so tt they can book out every night... but all the pple whom i suggested for them got rejected... guys are just so hard to please... tsk tsk... and i doubt tt there's a sane girl out there who wants to get hitch now to an army guy anyway... *shakes head*

And here the story ends.
1:10 AM

darn... i've forgotten every single thing there is abt maths... esp stats... WAH!!! i mean, i dont' remember a thing abt permutation & combination... tts bad... means i can't even do the simplest maths qns... oh man... this is bad really bad... and i'm not down to my hardest topics, which i've nvr learnt in my life... hmmz... this proves to show tt maths really needs continuous practice if not, u'll really forget how to do...

And here the story ends.
12:00 AM

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

i'm stressed... i just got accepted into the SPA programme... it's definitely a good exposure for me... but, i wonder can i actually get through the auditions a not... the interview is okay, but audition... pray pray pray... i love acting, though i'm still at the amateur stage... coz, no formal training. the only thing is, i can't stop laughing during rehersals tts all... but, if i'm trained and know my role well ain't a problem... esp now since the dialogue all in english... hahahahahaha... (its hard to memorise chinese scripts and dialect scripts... at least english can add words minus words) and tt'll mean my sundays will be busy from morning to night... since, trainings are on sunday morning 7 - 11 am. and church starts at 2 - 4pm. after which still got cell.... interesting... kc is so gonna complain, haha... but well, i shall grab this opportunity to learn some skills i hardly have the chance to. the guy said tt once u embark on the journey, u can't quit... alright for me la... just as long as i can concentrate on my studies, and tt during exams relax a bit... should be okay liao.. :) anyway.. enough abt SPA... went shopping with my mummy today.. hahaha... i must say, it started with only my mum and i... end up my dad, my sis also came... like family shopping day like tt... end up, buy worth over 400 ++ stuff... i bought 2 pairs of footwear (yesh... i've fetish for shoes nowadays, esp cute ones... wanted to buy a gotic looking wrap shoe. but my mum said no... haha.. ) and a lot of comfy undergarment... think abt it, pc is still my fav brand... wanted to buy cute looking ones... but my mum said she had enough me buying cute designs... anyway, i'm so looking forward to tmr... coz ganny is gonna play tennis with me!! and badminton too!! so happy... finally found a tennis partner after some kid went army... i'm so looking forward to stretching my bones and limbs... and i'm so looking forward to sweating it out... not tt i'm good at the sports, i'm pretty bad... but hey i've gotta work out man... hahaha.. :) alrighty-ho... my bath time now...

And here the story ends.
2:53 AM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
who the heck is morpheus?

And here the story ends.
8:57 AM

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
okie i know i'm a bit excessive today... but it's fun mah.. nice pic some more

And here the story ends.
8:48 AM

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
now this is nice for a change...

And here the story ends.
8:36 AM

LOVING ONE. You need safety in your relationship.
You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing
that he will protect you and you can be totally
devoted to your other. At this point you are
very vulnerable. You open yourself and dont
even think that he/she could cheat you. You
totally trust your partner in every single way.
SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or
played a game this trust is broken. You may try
to forgive your other but this will be very
difficult.He/She has to be friendly and
trustworthy.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

And here the story ends.
8:33 AM

ehz, got home like so darn late yesterday... coz had to send my dear fren bing bing off.... gonna miss tt girl sia... sounds weird but yah, i'll miss all her insults... she + gan + min = power... hahaha... anyway, popeye chicken at airport is CLOSED!!! think for renovations but still... CLOSED!!! ARGH... when i want to eat it... *sulk*.. so, end up gan and i went to bedok to eat kfc coz i wanted to eat something super unhealthy, super fried chicken, after the tot of popeye chicken not open... anyway, i must say this... KFC at bedok really sucks... 2 times i eat there, 2 times i think it has no standard... it was like, i'm wondering the piece of chicken is providing me with oil (see wanted to eat somethign unhealthy...), or am i providing it oil... i think its the formal... hahaha... seriously DRY to the core... no oil nothing... and the skin was so so DRY... EEEK!!! i think, the best KFC i've eaten in s'pore is at bukit merah... but, nothing beats the kfc i ate at KL.... yummy... just tt, i remember my last kfc meal at KL, ended up a pile of 2 L worth of mashed up liquid in a plastic bag, becoz i puked in a bus... and kevin swore he'll puke if i mentioned KFC on the bus trip... hahahaha... oopz... anyway.. enough abt kfc.. i spend the following hour after my meal to travel home... from bedok all the way to dover... the journey almost bore me to death... so i slept... the funny thing is when i woke up, i looked around me.. i realised everyone in my cabin was SLEEPING!!! believe it or not... the lady and the indian guy beside me were sleeping, so were the pple in front of me... it was so hilarious, coz i saw this guy (sitting opposite me) sleeping on the shoulder of another guy next to him... i think it was accidental... but the guy (who's shoulder was being used without permission) had a look of discomfort... and was squirming in his chair... i also felt very unsafe, coz the indian guy next to me... he was err.. doing 180 degrees head rotation... hahaha... *thinks...* i think i must be pmsing... coz i've this sudden cravings for chocolates, crackers.. and they are so unhealthy... bummer... bummer...

And here the story ends.
2:41 AM

Sunday, July 11, 2004

went to white sands today. sat a cab home... and during the cab ride, it was so amusing... i was talking with the uncle abt army life, not tt i'm an army kid.. just tt he was talking abt his days in army. after which he talked abt his son (which was quite confusing to me intially) coz he kept saying, his son in america in america. what nvr see before since a child. say due to an argument the son go overseas... until, i realise he was saying his wife and him had an argument when she had her child or something like tt... then out of anger she moved to america and the kid nvr came back. then suddenly he said something abt his children in s'pore.. i was like huh, i tot the kid in america? until i relaise, tt.. he remarried... and have 2 other kids... in s'pore... confusing... tsk tsk... then he started saying what... he liked army for one thing, tt is when he go on reservist, he gets to go havoc with his army mates... then i wondered why... its becoz he could tell his wife, night training, then cannot go home... hahahah... then talk talk talk, don't know why started talking abt business... (orh becoz i asked uncle why he driving taxi) he said he's actually into the cosmetic business, then it failed. decided to drive taxi lor... then say what his first wife is a beautician though 40 years of age still look like 28 then said something tt she's my size... i'm like... huh... err... er... hahahahahah... so funny u know... i'm so amused... hahah... then talk talk talk talk until abt ba dao passengers... say some aunties (esp bedok area one), very unreasonable... funny funny... anyway... i think today , the taxi ride was something different.. coz the uncle very funny... orh yah... he's from siglap sec school.. not tt it makes a difference but it's quite funny lah... hahahah... yuppz... :) a trip on the cab...

And here the story ends.
5:41 AM

Saturday, July 10, 2004

whats this abt men dating women who's double their age? personally, i'm err, a little taken aback but not too astonished. heard from kc abt his platoon mate having a gf who's like in her 40s and he err 20? quite funny, but well it happens. u mean to some pple older women turns them on? or like my cousin (who's a ger) got turned on my a men probably 15 years her senior? wonder if she's still dating him. but judging tt no wedding bells are ringing any time soon. i doubt it la... maybe she's embarking on being single. which isn't such a bad thing to some... but, if ever i had the chance... which i would nvr nvr nvr... i will not even think abt getting attached to guy either 10 or more years older then me or even 2 years younger then me... anyway... talking abt wedding bells... i've a very frantic sister... and very paranoid parents... its like 4 more months to my sister's wedding, and my mum is nagging at me to lose weight for my sister... and my sister nags at me for tt too... i mean, i feel okay for my size just tt i'm a bit too short, and i'm not overweight! hmmz... parents... i mean not every single parent will say in your face, hey i think u've grown fat can u go do something abt it? unless they want me to be reel thin... then ah, i've gotta go do extreme make over... free cutting up your fats and sewing your body up. machiam like some experiment like tt... i think i must be experiencing change currently... coz i've this urge to clean up everything i see in my room and even on the book shelves... some times i wonder how come all my friend's book shelves are all quite empty but mine is filled with weird books. anyway... enough said. shall go bum around and read books...

And here the story ends.
8:57 AM

Friday, July 09, 2004

my blog lags... anyway... was watching this documentry on marriage. and not just a normal marriage. but tribal marriage. u may think i'm buts, but i found it quite amusing... coz k, the tribal pple were commenting on why they wanted more wives... this is what one guy said (translated of coz..) more wives means i can have more gardens and pigs. if i only had one wife, i won't have enough pigs nor gardens nor children. more wives, more children, more pigs, more garden (in my mind i was wondering what has pigs, gardens gotta do with wives? then i realise coz the farming is done by the wives only). also, i won't be happy with just one wife! more wives, i can feed my stomach. i was amused... oh, then there was this pastor who said this... before i became a pastor, i wanted more wives. but after i became a pastor, marriage to more then 1 wife is something we forbid... and then there was this husband who hasn't paid the full brideprice for his wife. both of them ended up in a heated argument over the brideprice. and the man end up saying tt he wanted to marry one more wife. hey hey hey, i'm not trying to pinpoint tt man is all tt bad.. just tt i'm stating what i saw on tv... haha... but, err... you guys know tt i'm rather feminist anyway.. hahahah... anyway... tv aside. the weather is so fabulous today... i think it's gonna be a goodnight sleep for me... after having endured a very dangerous night yesterday at gan's house, where i woke up every 2 hours to make sure i wasn't kicked off the bed.. hahaha... u know whenever i shared bed with some one, i'll end up waking up to realise tt i'm at the edge ready to fall off, or i can feel some one's knees up my butt (which i officially called it the knee butting), or i'll realise tt some one's hand is in my face... and there was the time during a class chalet, my gfs were on the bed and edging towards me so badly, one slight nudge could send me falling right on top of my classmate sleeping on the pull out bed and he's a guy... dangerous... i wonder what nice broadways are coming up during the year or even the next year. i so want the broadway "annie" to be shown in s'pore. i won't mind buying the ultra ex tix to watch tt broadway... since its seriously my fav broadway of all time. hmmz, since the weather is so good tonight... i might as well continue with the packing of my room! and make it even cleaner then before... muahaha...

And here the story ends.
8:03 AM

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

one look around u and u'll realise tt pple our age are falling hard on love. was reading a fren's blog and boy is he in serious shit. u know, its the typical she's going overseas, he's left behind. long distance relationship. u know, the wanna let go but can't. okie okie, i admit. have been in the latter situation, but it just make me realise tt humans do behave simliarly sometimes. its like, i know of pple who have fallen into love triangles, or maybe even a more complex shape. pple fighting over some pple. (man they are lucky alright?) but, how many romantic guys can u find out there? for starters, after reading this particular fren's blog, i realise tt he is actually quite a romantic guy at heart. good for the girl though... hahaha... but u know, some times... things just refuses to go they're way. and personally, things refuses to go my way most of the time. but it's interesting to see how everything works out in the end. i think i watched this show once tt said something like, love is something really fuzzy. hmmz.. maybe love is like a cup of hot chocolate! (and since now mcafe has this hot choc with marshmallows! and i'm such a sucker for hot choc, though star bucks one is way better) u know, fuzzy wuzzy on the surface, then slowly when u drink it, u taste the sweetness of the hot choc, and feeling the fuzzy wuzzy milk layer. okay whom am i kidding... haha, tt only happens in shows. in reality, i think every one will fall hard on love at least once... or maybe even more. well, i do hope things work out for all the lovers around me though... it would be quite lovely to attend all their weddings in the future! and to celebrate all their testimonies of testings and commitment to each other. and to even embrace the fact tt hey i might be god mother one day to one of their kids! hahaha... why am i getting the luvvy dubby feeling?? don't know... maybe it's becoz everyone around me is falling in love! cupids are definitely not on strike...

And here the story ends.
8:51 AM

after having attended a prep talk by SMU, the reality of "we love SMU" has taken a place in my heart. believe u me, i didn't sleep a wink during the 6 hour long talks... they were too interesting.... take for example this phrase i learnt today "anxiety gives you something to do, but brings you no where." true enough, i do suffer from panic attacks, and anxiety, but, they DO NOT bring you anywhere! thus, get over tt short period of time if not you'll nvr succeed in life... :) another point i learnt too... tt, u have to "live life loud - be passionate" if not life will be so dull for a person right? i mean, who wants a dull life? a 9 - 5 job tt u hate but have to do it becoz u just want to earn money? NO! a lot of things in life have slipped my way becoz i was not passionate abt them and i wasn't sure i wanted them. but now, i realise tt u HAVE to be quick and fast if u want something.. as they say grab all the opportunities... i must say i'm not a risk taker but in real life, u have to be. if not life would not be as exciting and u'll lose the chance to gain more experience. after all, when i'm old and fragile, i do wanna share my life stories with my grand children u know... haha... what else... i think the pple in SMU are really different. and remember abt the money, enthusiasm and passion? i think, put money aside, the other 2 are very important things in life. not tt money is not important, but, it's part and parcel of life. i know for sure there are plenty of presentation and i will have to conquer my fears in IT. i know i'm not good at the computer but i will make the effort to learn IT skills and (haha) convince my comp to cooperate with me :P ... in addition, i think i will go for communication skills, coz i suck big time at it. SMU has a lot of things to it, and many can be dragged down by the culture. but the key thing i learn today is "what can u do abt it?", "can u be different?"... it's time to start planning for my 4 years. work, (oh it's quite funny when the guy said tt some pple frown on the $500 a month salary when u are on internship... coz i was like, hey tts a lot of money. judging tt i can at least use the money to live by a month. and who knows got money to shop some more... ) life is short, and the chapter for JC closes... i'm starting to embark on an interesting journey. an SMU journey. let's see where it'll take me...

And here the story ends.
2:51 AM

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	81%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	21%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	44%

Your Conscious-Surface type is 2w1
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 3w4

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

i wanna laugh... i admit! when i like some one, i hide it... and i am anxious... close minded??? yea, i love traditions... esp chinese new year... but as for the 2w1, i'm not tt sure... whats a masochist to start with??

And here the story ends.
10:07 AM

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

And here the story ends.
9:57 AM

something is seriously wrong with me.. my mood swings are getting very very bad... i think i'm pms ing... am i? i seem to be talking very sacarstically to some pple who irritates me... which only happens when i'm ultra ultra ultra irritated... oh bummer... big big bummer... whats happening to me?? and in addition, i'm hooked on to this wheel wheel junk food... shucks.. i've gotta go rest... rest is important...

And here the story ends.
9:02 AM

its final... i think my coughing is 75% psychological and 25% phlem... hmmz.. u wanna know why? was doing this experiment on myself, becoz i realise tt i cough more then ever during my piano lesson... so i wonder why... then, apparently i realise tt most of the time when i have like a panic attack, i cough and my lungs become like hollow hollow one... so i started controlling my tots, like... everytime i feel it coming.. i'll go... it's okay, relax, breathe breathe BREATHE!! and then i can feel tt my lungs return to normal... so, next step... how to stop myself from having panic attack...

And here the story ends.
8:17 AM

Friday, July 02, 2004

got this from dom's blog site... anyway.. the results are amusing... Your Existing Situation >> Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous. Your Stress Sources >>Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others. Your Restrained Characteristics>>Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.Your Desired Objective>>Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Desires an intimate union, in which there is a love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust.Your Actual Problem >>Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the things she wants.
Your Actual Problem #2>> Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

And here the story ends.
10:40 AM

okay... for starters, i realise tt uni stuff officially has begun... and, my sister's wedding day happens to fall on my exam week (bummer, can u imagine tt on the day of her wedding, i'm like "jie, i can't make it for the tea ceremony coz i have a paper to take. so have fun, don't trip and i'll be back ready for your dinner" she'll whack the hell out of me, esp since she's like so kan chiong and needs some one to cool her head down > in case u didn't know, since 2 years ago my sister has become a kan chiong bride making sure tt every decision she makes is sound)... u know, i really feel strange going to uni coz its like new environment and my frenz are all flying away (not tt i can't make new frenz just tt, all my NY frenz are like overseas and i think i'm gonna miss all my crap talking frenz, who almost every other month we gather round a table and talk all the crap under the sun) and on top of tt, have to think what to wear each day (and those who knows me, know tt i'm very indecisive on clothing, unless i'm feeling bo chap).. oh, though i've kinda decided what cca to join... hmmz... i guess, its the feeling of having to enter school knowing tt u're on unfamiliar grounds and feeling really lost coz the school is darn big... and knowing tt u have only 50 other pple studying the same course as u (whom so far, i've heard 20 pple are from scgs, 1 is from VJ, and quite a few from ac.. means like most are gers... which haha... i joke with gan and bing its like the yaya sister hood club! which would be fun...) sheesh.. k i think i'm feeling the unfamiliarity of going to a new school for 4 years... its like just when i've developed a love hate relationship with ac, i'm moved on to a new level. (don't get me wrong, i kinda am in love with ac now after taking a stroll into the school just yesterday. miss all those days being a mad kid, staying late in school to finish studying, really fun... ) oh bummer... kk , i've to face this... must be brave to meet up with changes and start studying again.. haha...

And here the story ends.
10:28 AM