Friday, November 26, 2004

ah. less then 5 more hours. to the big day! it's pouring outside, hopefully everything will clear tmr.. =) well.. if you're thinking what's the big deal.. lemme tell ya.... my jie's getting hitched today! 27th nov 2004. yuppz... =) hope everything turns out fine!!! time to sleep...

And here the story ends.
9:00 AM

Thursday, November 25, 2004

i've watched the sunrise in your eyes. i've seen the tears fall like the rain. u've seen me fight so brave and strong. u've held my hand when i'm afraid. we've watched the seasons come and go. we'll see them come and go again. but in winter's chilll and summer breeze. one thing will not be changing. we will dance, when the sun is shining in the pouring rain. we'll spin and we'll sway. and we will dance when the gentle breeze becomes a hurricane. the music will play and i'll take your hand and hold you close to me. and we will dance. sometimes it's hard to hold you tight. sometimes we feel so far apart. sometimes we dance as one. and feel the beating of each other's heart. some days the dance is slow and sweet. some days we're bouncing off the walls. but no matter how this world may turn/ our love will keep us fromfalling and.... the music will play. and i'll hold you close and i won't let you go. even when our steps grow weak and slow. still i'll take your hand and hold you close to me. and we will dance.

And here the story ends.
6:49 AM

guess what?? I SAW JEANNETTE TODAY!!!!! jeannette kwek shu zhen. yes.. after 3 or was it 4 yrs after she "disappeared" to canada. she's back! and i met her in a very funny way. i was in holland today, to do up all my garang stuff (tell more later), then i happily walking with my jie after lunch. then, suddenly a car stop by the road and my jie was like "ehz, your fren ah" i was like, huh huh huh what?? then i look at her. left, right, centre. at tt point i couldn't recognise her lor.... coz she now have long hair. looked a bit different with long hair u see... so i was like, "huh" still until *ting!* JEANNETTE!!!! tts what i shouted. so funny.... i still remember tt time when she left for canada, i was like, huh u going off ah.. and before i knew it she left. then i happily lost her email add.. and so did she. so we didn't contact till today! and the amazing thing is, i kept telling myself, one fine day, by God's will, i will meet her one.. some how and today is tt day!!!!!! really fantastic surprise lor.... still in shock actually... she's back in singapore doing NUS business 3rd year. ya, tt ger ah. happily go canada study 2 years come back 3rd year business student... when everyone still fresh grad... haha.. but i thank god tt i did her meet her again, coz she's really a great person and i can say tt she is one of my good fren. one fren whom i'm going to keep whether she likes it or not... haha kidd'... but yah, she's great really.... anywya, talking about my holland trip today. went for manicure, petticure, and some waxing. interesting.

And here the story ends.
3:11 AM

Monday, November 22, 2004

these few days, or rather past few weeks, i've been thinking. thinking. thinking. thinking. sentimental thoughts come knocking its way through the window panes at night. i was not a teary person to begin with. was always brave, nvr really shed tears one. but then, one fine day. some one showed me the way through life, the meaning of true joy. the ice walls of my heart just melt away with every single precious gesture of love and sincerity. and till now, every single show tt's all about love, hope and joy. i cry. i tear. not becoz it's a lovey-dovey show. but, tt i've let go of such a beautiful person in my life, tt person who shares your laughter the way u like it to be. tt somehow, i've lost a very important part of me. lost tt loving feeling u know what i mean? tts such a saying tt u do not know the value of something till u lose it. tts why paintings by da vinci shoots up after he died. had been really hyper throughout the starting of this week. needed it, to just cheer pple around me. and also to cheer myself up. as much as my heart is still not quite there, physically and emotionally, life still has to go on. no wonder there are countless of heart wrenching shows out there. it's for real. the night ends with croonings of the like of de-lovely on my comp. for those in love, stay in love.

And here the story ends.
7:55 AM

what's this thing called love? - lemar, de-lovely. i was a hum-drum person. leading a life apart. when love flew in through my window wide. and quickened my humdrum heart. love flew in through my window, i was so happy then. but after love had stayed a little while, love flew out again. what is this thing, called love? this funny thing, called love. just who can solve its mystery? why should it make as fool of me? i saw you then, one wonderful day. u took my heart and threw it away. that's why i asked the lord in heaven above. what is thing called love? what is this thing called love? this funny thing, called love. just who can solve its mystery. why shoudl it make a fool of me? i saw you then one wonderful day. u took my heart and threw it away. tts why i asked the lord, in heaven above. what is this thing, called love?.

And here the story ends.
7:46 AM

it's november the 22nd. such a significant date. and only a few knows why. wedding bells are ringing. and love is in the end. think when my jie really gets married on sat, i think i'll be all teary and stuff. esp with her wedding theme song. which i shall keep it as a secret if not spoil the niceness. but the song is definitely one tt'll reduce my mum to tears, and perhaps i as well. within this 6 years, i'll wait patiently for the guy whom god would match me with, who will spend the rest of his life with mine. this world. filled with so much spectacular things. sunset, sunrise. hope. love. and whoever s reading this, i wish for you tt in His very own special timing, experience this beautiful thing called love. i once did, and it was wonderful. =)

And here the story ends.
4:40 AM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

sitting in my room. with a relatively irritating painful spot on my butt. yesh, tt abcess thingy is back. shall go see the doc soon. irritating. coz it means tt i'm back on track with medication. *gasp* hopefully during which i do not get sting by any mosqi. *fear some weird rash would come ack again* or should i just go for it after my jie's wedding. but the pain is just growing ever so strong. oh my oh my. oh, bing bing called me today!! so happy... was crapping on the phone for i think more then an hour. about what? i can't remember. but tts not the point. felt so nice talking to her, and she's coming back soon! on the 22th! can't wait can't wait! what else. oh, i don't know why , but i've been so tired since my run yesterday. this morning i woke up, my entire mental mind, wasn't up to it yet. at 9 pm, i almost conked out at the hawker centre over dinner. too tired already. then now, it's 11.39 which means soon i'm popping back into my bed for a good rest. after i watch samurai champloo of coz... tmr is my last class of the year, and it's my last presentation of the year. so fun!!!! =) today, i had my sociology project presentaion. so FUN! coz, we had a skit and we told our findings blah blah through it. which is really interesting. i acted as the mother. *not tt i look like one* just tt acting this kinda 38 roles is fun. haha.. anyway, the wedding preparations, are midsway. *GASP* i don't have a proper outfit for the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sadden... it's like, oh my left one more week. how to hunt for THE nice dress tt i'll remember for the rest of my life tt is "my jie's wedding" you know what i mean. anyway, time for samurai champloo.l and it's bed time for me... =)

And here the story ends.
7:45 AM

back from my run. feel so good. so very good. though, today i think i must have ran a little faster then usual, coz my thighs were aching as i was running back from the mrt station. the funny thing is, during my run today, i met a lot of pple. not pple tt i know, but pple on the streets, passersby basically. more then any usual day. how interesting. (now tt was yesterday's blog. was so tired, i dind't even click publish)

And here the story ends.
7:35 AM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

the power of love. all around me all couples sia. and u know the thing about having bf's in uni is he'll send u around. to school, back home. blah blah. oh and there was this "couple-to-be" were flirting in front of me. man... feels like watching drama you know. and a very "live" one. oh till the day i'm attached to some one who can drive. hahaha... anyway, tts not the point. am eating something really gross to the core. OIL-y food. coz it's the only food left at night of 9 pm in SMU. hmmmz... and i'm feeling so bloated with oil tt it's such a huge turn off. i'm definitely gonna go running later. u know, i've no idea why, but my heart has been "trembling" for today. it's like vibrating. and quite frequent too. hmmz... hope it's nothing serious maybe artery blockage. hahahha... oh well.. anyway, i think i've fallen for running. it feels good. is good. it's like, it makes you feel like, u're in your own world, and tt all you wanna do is move the legs. i wonder how much should i run today. oh tts it i cannot finish the fish liao. too OILY. Shiver... sigh.. now have to go home myself, coz my daddy is not exactly done. so, yuppz yuppz.. oh man, the oil is definitely not mixing well with my tummy. oh no oh no.....

And here the story ends.
5:28 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

deprived. repeat after me. deprived. it's 1 am. into my 3rd question. spent one hour trying to understand how to input formulas on excel (i'm slow). now it's 2.34 am. really tired. am into my 5th question. i gave up on the 3rd question. can't seem to think straight for it. so just move on and cover the rest and hopefully tmr i can think straight enough to answer it. guess it's gonna be yet another day of sleeping in. it's 3.45 am. i cannot take it anymore. going to la la land now... finsihing it up tmr instead... gee.. anyway, i feel ultra guilty today. coz today really no energy left to do my daily sit ups and squats bla bla.. i hope tmr i've the time for a little night run and my daily routine. u know, i was joking with bing and gan just now about affair with running. and how i've fallen in love with running. and we started talking abotu flings, one night stands with tennis, and running. though i think they resented the idea of running. and then we started talking about badminton and how we had flings behind badminton's back. qute hilarious. but still, i'm faithful to running. he's so good to me u know.. wahhaha. *signs of stress*

And here the story ends.
11:30 PM

*rubs tummy* sense of satisfaction. tonight dinner was a little too little. but otherwise as delicious like always.. =) now, sitting at the dinning table. though the lights can really kill my eyesight. but nvr mind. oh. u know, since i'm getting so ever bored everyday. i shall blog surf. attempt to tag one person every other day. in view tt i won't lose touch of the world out there. i'm so gonna work it out the night lor. today must finish my stats assigment, i've 8 qns. but i'm at qns 1~! and i'm so tired. eyes super painful today. wah!

And here the story ends.
5:44 AM

sitting in school, waiting for my daddy to pick me up. can't be help. i truly feel very lazy to walk down the super long slope. when i go home, there are so many things to complete. my STATS assignment for starters.. oh god. and there's this sociology project tt i need to write up on. which i'll do it once i'm finished blogging now. darn, i think i got bitten by a mosqi. ever since my allergy rash, i'm paranoid by insects bite. argh! so afraid something bad would happen like another bout of rash allergy maybe? oh you know, i'm happy about one thing about SMU though.. they have FINALLY FINALLY implemented a rule about smoking on campus. tt now pple are banned from smoking indoors (the campuse buildings bla bla) in view of the recent reports tt they have found tt smoking brings about worse harm then imagine. oh man u've no idea how delighted i am to know tt this rule is being implemented. no more days where i'm going home stinking of the cigarette smell... alright.. think i should spend the next few minutes wisely. at least finish up a bit on sociology project. =)

And here the story ends.
2:19 AM

Friday, November 12, 2004

in approximately less then 2 hours i would be sitting my sociology exam. unfortunately, i'm not exactly done with my studying which means. things ain't looking good. and i'm stressed and like, argh!!! you know what i mean, don't exactly feel like starting with this studying shit. but i'm looking forward to after the test where i can get a breather, start my maths homework. okie, i think i better start studying the remaining 4 BIG chapters...

And here the story ends.
6:06 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

holiday holiday!! 2 days more to my sociology exam and i'm still stuck at my first chapter, "education" not looking good not looking good! i look at the calendar ahead for the next 2 weeks, it's seriously very tight. like, on top of the soc project, CT proj (which is darn fun) and my 2 other exams, which is STATS (oh my goodness!!!!) and AS... hmmz, i still have to shop for my shoe for my sis's wedding. and what on earth am i gonna wear in the morning? and the endless routines of beautifying. what, got manicure, petticure, waxing, eyebrow trimming, err *thinks* endless gown fittings. and hair cut. gee. thankfully this comes only like once in a lifetime or something. anyway, i went shopping with my jie yesterday. bought my 2 clutches, one pearly pink (which is really pure sweetie pie look) tt one will go with my pinky shoe (which is sweetie pie look too) now tt's for the morning, and one glittery silver (it's classic look) for the evening. i've got my gown for the evening, which is a cream based colour. but i've no idea what am i gonna wear for the morning. coz i don't seem to have one decent enough clothes to match the clutch or shoe. hmmmmmmz. anyway, i've been on this exercise regime tt seems to be working. like, i'm doing sit-ups (not a lot also), squats and push-ups. daily. and i run at least 2 times a week, coz i dont' have much time to run. and it seems to be working. like subtly, but still visible enough for me to notice. *yawn* i think i better get started with my work. if not i doubt i can finish on time.

And here the story ends.
7:37 PM

Monday, November 08, 2004

faith. =) tts what they called it. it was pouring today. cats and dogs and everything else. was on my way home today from school. and the sky looked threatening. and after i got on the bus, the flood gates really opened. it was raining so badly everything looked really blurred. u see, i was really worried, coz, i had no umbrella. but i kept going, have faith. must have faith. bla bla. so i just sat in the bus, just looking at the rain and said God will make the weather nice for me to walk. faith faith faith. christian right? faith faith faith. and amen! he heard my prayers coz, when i reached back, it stopped pouring totally. only slight drizzle. nice weather to walk in somemore. so thank God! =)

And here the story ends.
11:58 PM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

on sat, i went to watch de-lovely with lmr... it's such a delightful show! i mean, it's a show tt can make u all fuzzy wazzy inside. to me it was like a master piece. first, it's in the musical genre (which is something i'm totally into); then, the english they spoke was really high class, i doubt tt they used the same bombastic word twice in the entire 2 hours; in addition, the jokes they said were cleverly constructed and they were darn right sacarstic with a tinge of class. easy enough to understand the subtle meaning but it had enough humour to make it laughable. oh, seriously, if you're over 18 yrs of age. love musicals, and a classic story. de-lovely is something u should catch. if you're wondering why it's mc(18), since it didn't have violence or what, neither did it have any sexual scenes (come on, there was only err, 3 bed scenes at most. none were explicit). the only thing tt made it mc(18) was tt the main character was gay, no bi. tts was it. anyway, i doubt tt if you were any younger you would actually appreciate the nonsense and flirty stints. well, you see the story is as simple as this. cole is gay, almost all the way. no bi, i must say. coz, you see this guy (btw, real story) he never believed tt one kind of love is enough. so he indulges himself in pretty boys (and they are truly pretty boys. good enough to eat kinda). sleeps with them. fool around with them. he had this boyfriend in venice, and you could tell tt he was truly so "in touch" with him. but in a funny way. the thing is, this cole guy, is well known for having bfs it was like an open secret. cole was also a well known song writer for musicals and all tt nonsense. however, he met this ger called linda. supposedly the prettiest divorcee around. with glamour and poise. he fell in love with her. but the story doens't end there. linda knows tt cole is infamous for his er-er unlawful ways. but weirdly, they got married. now, i think this linda person is really totally in love with cole. nvr once did she raise her voice at him. always ready to splurge expensive wine, and cigarettes on cole. (i think she is ultra rich too) and she had all this links with hollywood, to start off cole's hollywood career. she just knew too many pple. but she said one thing tt was ultra touching to cole, at one point in time. "i nvr wanted you to change." also, "i nvr did expect you to love me the way i do. i just wanted to love you" change his ways around guys tt is. she knew he was gay all the way their she died. and even prior to her death, she found yet another pretty boy to spend the rest of his life with cole. (yes you've heard it right. she hooked him up with another guy. talking about open infidelity) but it was after her death tt i think this cole guy changed his ways. he shooed this guy off, he lost his leg. basically at the end of the 2 hour story, i could sense tt he really loved her. like really really loved her. so it was so tt the ger beside me in the cinema was crying. i was teary too.. it was just such a love affair to a different extreme.
anyway, the night ended with both of us, meeting up with our fellow friends at kent ridge park. i was singing away to the tune of "let's do it" in the car, and in the other car the 4 of them were talking about something which i couldn't really comprehend. i think i was in an awfully danc-y mood tt's all. but well, bottomline, it was really a good show. and the newspaper gave it the correct rating of 5 stars. i'm happy i didn't miss it tts all.... =)

And here the story ends.
9:11 PM

Friday, November 05, 2004

it's a friday once more... feeling sleepy already... *breathes fresh air* hmmz... next week is gonna be one busy week to study study study soc... then, i must spend lots of time doing my stats. goodness.. my maths is super lousy now... haha... *embarrassed* haha.. oh well.. i shall attempt to spend one lovely morning with my parents... i think my mum wants to go market or something. and i promised my dad if i can wake up i go eat breakfast with him.. haha... kk shall sleep early

And here the story ends.
8:52 AM

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Superficial happiness. In life, what is true happiness? Can i say tt i'm truly happy with what i am today? I taking my evening walk back from the bus stop today. And i asked myself. Am i truly happy with what i am now. I know deep down tt i once was happy. But, am i still happy? I've lost what was once known as innocent love. Everything now, always has a value attached to it. Then i looked at my surroundings. the serendity. the couple walking beside me. i wondered. are they truly in love. or is it becoz they just had to be together. superficiality vs. truth. when is laughing a true blue laugh. when it is just to entertain? superficiality society taught us to be. vainity, the pursuit of slimness. what is it all for? for the so called beauty? for the so called confidence? to look good? to be complimented on? i'm worried about not being slim, i've always tot it's becoz of health reasons. like, carrying excess weight makes my heart work more, and yesh, my chest hurts once in a while. and, my back always feels strained. but is it not becoz of pressure from society? tt slim is beauty? tt being big and fat means one cannot be confident of herself? what superficiality. i laugh at myself. but still laughing doesn't rub of the problem. we'll still into the craze of slimness and beauty. what contradiction. this world. lives on contradictions. it feeds on contradictions. i look left i look right. and pple are always telling me to loose the extra pound. gee... i've nvr thought of weight issue as an issue itself for myself since young. but as i grow older. i can't deny tt pressure is added on every single waking mmt. superficiality happiness. alas, is beauty all tt superficial?

And here the story ends.
8:17 AM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

*tots for the day. have been thinking much on the very basis of friendship, and simply becoz i've nothing better to do* Once it has passed you by. It has passed you by. No turning back they say. Just forward steps, grabbing at opportunities along the way. Some say that the moment you were born, you were counting down to your death. How morbid that sounds! But, think about it's quite true. But many a times, in the midst of rush, and meaningless pursue of riches in the world, we forgot the very basis of our existence. Love. If, we didn't need human affection, or to even be cared upon, oh, we just could jolly well live off on an isolated island, left to die since birth. The truth is, even the most basic cave men needed support. Why did we all evolve into a service sector? Agriculture? Manufacturing industry? It's becoz men started to think and relied on each other for exchange in goods and service, coz they found out tt by doing smart butter trade, they gain more. Men cannot live alone to fend for himself. Imagine the harsh cold winter, one is no good, chances of freezing to death even with the thickest coat is high. Two is better, can warm each other with the body heat. Thus, men really can't live alone by themselves. But in the name of fame, and richness, we have neglected the very basic thing in life. Alas, many people have turned their backs on friends so on and so forth. I know plenty back stabbers. All in the name to be the best. You gain some and you lose some. You gain glory for yourself but you end up losing more, coz you lose friends who gives you the most support and recognition. Once it has passed you by. It has indeed pass you by.

And here the story ends.
8:42 AM